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Good afternoon parents / care givers
As a parent … Am I doing more harm than good?
This is a question I ask myself all the time. A classic example; the other day my son was teasing my daughter, trying to get a ‘rise’ out of her. So in her best whiny voice my daughter sings “Daddy, he’s teasing me.” My reaction … I yell … “Stop teasing your sister”. I was trying to restore peace and stop the commotion so I could continue watching my footy team;
but what have I just taught my daughter? If you whinge, sooky-la-la, or cry, Daddy will come to your rescue? Is this a skill I want my daughter to learn? What have I, as a role-model in my home, imparted on my children? Oh my gosh, I fail as a parent !!
The problem is I’m not always going to be there when life throws its ‘curve balls’ at my daughter. I’m not always going to be able to help her out when things don’t go her way, when she faces hardship or rejection, when she doesn’t like someone or something.
What should I have done? Well, 20/20 hindsight is a wonderful thing. This was a great example of a teachable moment. I could have taken the opportunity to build my daughter’s coping skills, build her resiliency. I could have talked her through the problem instead of taking the easy route and solving the problem (albeit temporarily) myself.
Many of our kids’ learning opportunities are disguised as problems. As parents, it’s our responsibility to make the most of these opportunities so that kids can grow and learn from some of the challenges they face. Instead of solving our children’s problems for them or removing them from the situation or (dare I say it) ‘helicoptering’, we are charged with the responsibility of guiding our children, not fighting their battles.
I have to say the recent decision to remove all scores from junior AFL games does not sit well with me. Children need to learn that sometimes you will finish second; you can’t always win; life’s not fair … we need to teach our kids winning and losing skills and not pander to political correctness gone mad. The AFL need to realise that there are always winners and losers in life and healthy competition encourages determination to do better, good sportsmanship and resiliency … it’s one of those teachable moments.
In saying all of this, we need to remember that promoting resilience in kids is not a single event but a continuous process that requires adults to be supportive and empathetic when things don’t go their child’s way.
So … now that I’m armed with my 20/20 hindsight, what will I do next time I hear that song “Daddy…” ?
Have a great Easter and holiday break,
See you next term,
Stuart Blackwood
Principal
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楼主:Perth-newcomer
发表于 2014-3-28 20:39
