名人的幽默

魉呼

简单的英语也可以说的很有深意，大家一起边学边笑：

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'
- Lillian Carter

I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
- Mark Twain

The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible.
- George Burns

Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.
- Victor Borge

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
- Mark Twain （这个好笑，我妈就这样，什么健康的文章都信）

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
- Socrates

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.
- Jimmy Durante

I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Money can't buy you happiness .. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.
- Spike Milligan

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP.
- Joe Namath

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
- W. C. Fields

We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.
- Will Rogers

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
- Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.
- Phyllis Diller

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.
- Billy Crystal

My parents stayed together for over forty years, but that was out of spite.
- Woody Allen

Ritacow

谢谢
我很喜欢第二个
哈哈哈哈

bffbffbff

ls的很yellow，鉴定完毕

mlg_tech

'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'
I think it should change to 'No good in a bed, but fine against a floor'
That gives you much stronger felling

魉呼

LS, 偶觉得还是原文好....看过色戒没？

mlg_tech

色戒和戒色看过好几遍了，跟against a floor有关系吗？

[ 本帖最后由 mlg_tech 于 2009-5-2 22:07 编辑 ]

Ritacow

原帖由 mlg_tech 于 2009-5-2 19:44 发表
色戒和戒色看过好几遍了，跟against a floor有关系吗？

LS 她之所以为什么说 'against the wall' 是因为 还有另一种 含义

Wall Flower -> 就是说那些很一般很一般的人，没有任何特殊，参加聚会贴在墙上，就跟墙纸上面的花图案似的