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贴个我收藏的英文小品文,供大家欣赏。(也为了早点贴上我可爱的熊猫宝宝)
Here's something to lighten up your day
MANAGEMENT LESSONS #01
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day.
A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered: "Sure, why not!" So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate
it..........
Management Lesson Learnt :
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting up there, very, very high up.
MANAGEMENT LESSONS #02
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
"I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?"replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branchof the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally, after a fortnight, there he was, - proudly perched at the top of the tree. But, all too soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,who shot the turkey out of the tree........
Management Lesson Learnt ::
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
MANAGEMENT LESSONS #03
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be the Boss.
The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."
The 2 feet said, " We should be Boss as we carry thebrain about and get him to wherever he wants to go."
The 2 hands said, "We should be the Boss becausewe do all the work and earn all the money we could"
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs andthe eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.
All the parts laughed at the idea of the assholebeing the Boss.
So the asshole decided to go on a strike, blockeditself up and refused to work......
Within a short time the eyes became crossed, thehands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.
Eventually they all decided that the asshole shouldbe the Boss.
And so the motion was passed.
All the other parts did all the work, while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson Learnt ::
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.
MANAGEMENT LESSONS #04
A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.
While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
So, he lay there all, warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him up.......!
Management Lesson Learnt ::
(1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And especially when you're in deep shit, keep your big,fat mouth shut!
[ Last edited by horseanddragon on 2005-1-2 at 07:51 PM ] |
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