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男人就应该有面子。。
什么东东，以前我老公从来不说这个
他说，要是不借，人家就会说，他这个家没有主动权。。
Obviously , that is where he pain is!!
How about thinking of it as a drama, while you are giving a role to play to be a MAN and you have to act like whatever you husband has to. Perhaps, if you trying to change your gender through this wild imagination , you will see that why 'Face'(or honor??) is such an important thing for MAN.
Sure, he upset you with the above comment. But take this as a signal of he is yelling for help. I suppose even he himself know that you are right(about not to lend more money to the jerk)! But that self-consciousness perhaps is sth amplify his pain even further?? Are you the kind of person who always able to do the right thing (either by luck or talent )? His dodge friend obviously see his weakness clearly and manipulate his feeling so as to leech more $$. Don't let him win! :)
You need to help your husband to FEEL (not that you have to really hand over the control, if you are control freak...)that he is the master of the house or at least his opinion "does play an important part" for this family. Very often little things can make he feel that he has some weight in this family. Even as small as letting him decide which restaurant you two want to go on the weekend. Not just simply throw all the responsibility to him , but rather be a supportive person and little bit of cheer leader dance (ok , the later one is abit exaggerate but you get the picture).
Don't try to judge him from right and wrong perspective. Respect his opinion even it is soooo wrong. I mean no one is perfect.. and right & wrong doesn't always have to be the ultimate conclusion of a discussion.
Oh, lastly, of course you will have to bear some shit during the process of helping him. But ,hey, if he is your loved one, i guess that's worth it. Plus, you know you can always get him to pay back later when he gain finally grow up from his weakness. :)
If you need further help, consult with the councilor or read some book in this direction. This little tiff does challenge the relationship of your two, but you only grow the love between you two through this way. |
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煮夫手记三十八 酿辣椒与酿茄子 (2011-11-20) amon54 
楼主:pinkgril
发表于 2007-9-14 23:29
