学英语，笑话？！

一个矿泉水瓶子

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-10 11:42
这话中听。就是一半。永远也在半道上，走~~~~~~~~~~~~~~着。 肯学与肯忘在较着劲。
...

最佩服老学生们了，牛！

虽然是不如小孩记性好，可是语言这东西就是架不住天天练。
一定可以的！！

北京琳达

别指望真能学进去。现在科技这么发达费那劲儿呢。手机上下载一个翻译软件应急用。平时会几句日常用语就OK了。

lubber

tina50

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-10 11:50
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: Because of the sign on the road.
Teacher: What type of sign?

Go Slow.

landwhelen

Slow down. 35km/h.

bigcrow

Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
          donation 捐赠,赠与,捐款
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body... men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.
          Bikini 比基尼

tina50

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-11 17:59
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gav ...

绅士

bigcrow

Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information.
Arguing with your wife is like getting arrested. Anything you tell can and will be used against you.

argue 争辩

tina50

Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information.

bigcrow

tina50 发表于 2016-8-13 08:10
Never argue with a doctor; he has inside information.

汗什么了？
医院的滚桶里一躺，把你里里外外切片的瞅仔细了。 所以说只有别人清楚自己，没有自己了解自己的。

tina50

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-13 10:46
汗什么了？
医院的滚桶里一躺，把你里里外外切片的瞅仔细了。 所以说只有别人清楚自己，没有自己了解自 ...

汗不公平啊，信息不对等，未战已败。

bigcrow

Never laugh at your wife's choices...... you are one of them.

tina50

Never laugh at your wife's choices......希望我老公能学学这句

lemonteawithice

完全不懂笑点在那

ageha1016

bigcrow

Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

小岩石头

很有意思的英语笑话！谢谢分享！

bigcrow

A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.

Customer: How do I drink this coffee!
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee?
Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.
Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee.
Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MMY coffee (He stressed the word MY)
Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!
Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.
Waiter: Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?
Customer(Annoyed): the fly dead, it’s irritating!
Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.
Customer: How do I drink this coffee?
Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you!

He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.

tina50

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-18 18:15
A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found ...

waiter具有强大的内心。

bigcrow

tina50 发表于 2016-8-18 20:21
waiter具有强大的内心。

负责任的告诉你澳洲的苍蝇其实有点甜|苍蝇|澳洲旅游_凤凰旅游

tina50

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-18 20:43
负责任的告诉你澳洲的苍蝇其实有点甜|苍蝇|澳洲旅游_凤凰旅游

有一次路过一段路，苍蝇特多，关键是直往嘴里飞，哄也哄不走。

mikelee19

tina50 发表于 2016-8-19 20:41
有一次路过一段路，苍蝇特多，关键是直往嘴里飞，哄也哄不走。

kiss

bigcrow

以下一则，曾经见过中文版本的。
What Is Politics?
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

小岩石头

Heads I win,tails you lose!Anyway,you got no chance!

小岩石头

bigcrow 发表于 2016-7-31 18:49
第一则是送给版主的，幸好版主笑纳了。
这个笑话绝非瞎编，有事实根据的（有图有真相）：
http://news.cn ...

楼主的第一则的笑话经你解释后我觉得挺有意思的！
至于第二则关于chicken-pox，学校刚发了通知，最近流行这种病！但人类也是，长痘就长痘，干嘛还要和鸡扯上关系。

小岩石头

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-2 09:46
Teacher asked the students to convert the sentence "I killed a person" into future tense.
Suddenly J ...

这时态学得

小岩石头

linegar 发表于 2016-8-2 20:40
十种谷米的英文名字

糙米  Brown Rice

谢谢分享！有些还真不知道英语怎么说的！

小岩石头

tina50 发表于 2016-8-10 14:56
Go Slow.

Good reason！

小岩石头

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-11 17:59
Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gav ...

So Funny！

小岩石头

bigcrow 发表于 2016-8-16 21:51
Sheila walked into the kitchen to find Bruce stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing ...

男的爱喝啤酒，女的爱煲电话粥！