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carollxq 发表于 2020-10-18 18:17 
能谈谈为什么决定离开私立学校选择去selective school 呢？
Sure, but apologies in advance, cos I know I can be fairly longwinded  Please remember also that this is completely personal experience and I'll try not to make too many generalisations. Basically, we had no intention of ever leaving up until I suppose sometime in T2 this year. It actually had nothing to do with the SS results, my parenting style is fairly relaxed and I never placed too much pressure on her academically. The possibility of leaving was instigated by her questioning of my original school choice; I suppose lunchtime was rife with conversations about yr 7 and in my generation was BH, JR, Con, SG and a couple of other private schools, I also have many close teacher friends at the current top schools both SS and private. So she's always hearing about these other schools and in T3 last year she asked me, why we went to those selective schools/SG, but you don't even consider it for me. I told her it is because I didn't want her to feel too much pressure. I am a strong advocate of not stressing about marks & ATAR etc. As long as she puts in the effort, it's all that matters etc you know the cliche line about just doing your best, don't worry about what you get. I've always told her, the more doors you open, the more doors will open, and it doesn't matter if the first door is not your first choice. That's me, however, turns out my kid just won't give it a rest, she cares too much and she wants the right door every single time and it worries me, but I'm trying to support her.
Having matured more, she started to see cracks in her beautiful school, the problem lies partially on the politics that comes with a private school, children of legacy names and the fact that the school's hands are tied by the sheer business nature that is of a private school. This is the same problem with many top tier private schools that I am familiar with, I was only discussing this with some teachers during these school holidays. I can't name the schools, but, basically top tier ones all agree, the school is somewhat at the mercy of key players. This kind of environment despite being somewhat reflective of our society, I feel it is just too toxic for a child to navigate for HS, the idea of mixing puberty and politics seem fairly disastrous to me.
Now, you must remember that this is only our personal experience, I'm not saying all children will see the same flaws that my daughter sees. Mine is a very reserved, super sensitive and spends quite a fair bit of time reflecting on rules, values, morals, ethics etc etc Like most girls her age, showing signs of caring too much about what others think/see and I'm trying to help her not let that spiral out of control. It feels like I have prepared for a decade as a parent to try and help her safely through the upcoming teenage years. My primary objective is to help her reach her potential in the safest and happiest possible way.
This is why our visit to the non-selective gov HS this week felt uncomfortably odd. I initially told my daughter that coming from a private school where parents have pull/say with regards schooling, a government school is going to feel completely different and they're not going to really care who you are unless you shine. Regardless of where we will end up going, she told me that her first goal is to make sure the teachers know her, she wants the principal to always know her name! But on our visit this week, the first thing the principal said to her was – “I was watching you from the moment you walked into reception” (we sat in reception for 15 min) and then there were just too many compliments. It didn’t end there, she was also unnecessarily but purposely introduced to other random staff who all asked for her name and it honestly felt like something was not right with that picture, if you know what I mean? I don't have any experience with a standard HS, I have so many resources in other schools but not a single local gov HS contact so I have no one to ask.
I don’t want my daughter to think that life is that easy, it’s completely the wrong message to send a young girl - that you can just walk into a brand new environment for the first time and just own the room based on how you look. They’ve ALREADY failed me and now I am really hoping she gets into SGH so that we can start all over again, amongst a sea of high achievers so she can focus on working hard like everybody else to succeed. No red carpet or free passes, no special treatment because of your parents (speaking about others, we are NOT a powerful family). But I feel already the gov hs treated my daughter differently based purely on her appearance, parents and educators should try not to comment nor treat girls differently based on appearances alone. In this complicated world of social media, it’s so important to keep on top of what our children do, feel and think. I’m just trying my best like every other parent on here, to help our kids navigate the crazy world with live in now. So I hope that explains it a little for you, the TL;DR version is:
Private = politics, privilege and bad behaviour
SS = hopefully less of the above and more inspiring friendships 
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简单又好吃的零食--牛肉干 (2006-3-4) moth 
楼主:小小白虎
发表于 2020-10-14 18:56
