跟别人比是最错误的想法。。。

hsy12

前段心情感悟还有2个帖子讨论人怎么喜欢比较，今天我儿子也。。。
不过现实总是残酷的，比较无处不在啊，考大学，找工作，移民等等等等。
大家怎么看这个问题。

儿子：
不要拿我和别人比。大学生说了，跟别人比是最错误的想法。

我：
哪个大学生说的？

儿子：
墨尔本的。

我：
哦。

jianwang1970

It's so true. Do not compare yourself to others, but to yourself.
My son plays basketball at rep level. He has very good technical skills, but he is not brave. As such, he couldn't get baskets. And he always felt stressful during the game.

We read some tips from top NBA coaches. And realized that all of us will feel stressful at certain stage during a game. The key to solve this problem is to

-- set your OWN goals, and work hard to achieve the goal!

It does work for my son, and now he is so confident at game, especially tough games. He usually is the one who makes that crucial shot to win the game!

jianwang1970

One more point, he is still not that brave! But at least by working towards his own goal, he feels more comfortable and confident compared to before, which is sometimes, the key to success.

炫炫

非常棒！以后孩子提出买这买那，因为别人有，而你们不认同的时候，可以开心的告诉孩子，大学生说的，不要跟别人比！

mifeng

做最好的自己

hsy12

jianwang1970 发表于 2015-8-13 12:46
It's so true. Do not compare yourself to others, but to yourself.
My son plays basketball at rep l ...

Thanks for sharing.
Grown up in China, our parents and/or our teachers used to set good examples for us, believing since they could do things this well, why couldn't you?

Having watched the very popular BBC documentary "Would Chinese-style education work on British kids?" lately, although some stories are biased I think, I've learned that the difference between western education and Chinese education is: western students are led to compare with themselves, while Chinese students are forced to compare with others, which is considered as being aggressive?

hsy12

mifeng 发表于 2015-8-13 12:57
做最好的自己

挺巧的，这句话正好是我儿子的签名档。。。也希望他说到做到。

爱希腊

爱比是天性，是不好的天性。

和自己比，和过去的自己比，不断进步，这是积极的，正确的。

和别人比，只有坏处，没有好处。

华人多是赤裸裸地比，理直气壮天经地义地比孩子，比地位，比金钱。

比到自己郁闷，也就算了，把孩子比出心理扭曲，性格怪异的不在少数了

jeff117888

爱希腊 发表于 2015-8-13 13:27
爱比是天性，是不好的天性。

和自己比，和过去的自己比，不断进步，这是积极的，正确的。

顶

hu017

可以這樣比一下，為什麼我比他們做得好？
總結一下自己好經驗

jianwang1970

hsy12 发表于 2015-8-13 13:12
Thanks for sharing.
Grown up in China, our parents and/or our teachers used to set good examples f ...

I don't think there is any fundamental difference in between Western or traditional Chinese style education. I mean "traditional". They both encourage positive competition.

I do think for some kids, they are the ones who were born to be compared with others, and they enjoy it! Those are usually the lucky ones who run faster, think smarter and popular in friends.

Unfortunately, there are always unlucky ones who are slow starters, like my son. They need encouragement to keep them always up and up and never give up.

A great British man, Churchill, said, "success is not final, failure is not fatal, what really counts is the courage to CONTINUE!"

hsy12

jianwang1970 发表于 2015-8-13 14:50
I don't think there is any fundamental difference in between Western or traditional Chinese style  ...

Put it this way, the unlucky ones are luckier in the western world, westerners more respect the differences of individuals.

northwind79

没错。我最讨厌我妈永远都在说谁谁的孩子怎样怎样。我做得再努力也总会有比我强的不是。我绝对不会做这样的妈妈。

嘉嘉ali

比较其实会适得其反 更让孩子叛逆想跟你对着干
或者会觉得自己不如别人而自卑

unclelee

只要努力就好