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本帖最后由 acb 于 2016-2-28 15:18 编辑
Was I pregnant?
A university campus.
A group of foreign students were quietly settled down in class waiting for their English teacher, Mrs McRoberts to come. However, since there was no sign of her a few of students tried to ‘break the ice’ sending a flow of broken English throughout the room.
''Sorry, I'm late,'' a silver-haired female figure rushed into the room carrying a large document wallet and a tray of scones while a further four or five steps behind her followed her young female assistant.
''It's my husband's fault!'' she said. ''I waited for his scones they are for us all during the break.''
Then noting the man sitting in the very first seat was trying to put his books in place she added in such a way that it was almost a whisper, ''You aren't going to leave. Are you?''
In an attempt to give some assurance to the elderly lady the well-dressed middle-aged man awkwardly but carefully replied in his flawed English, 'No, I am not going to leave. I am expecting, we all are.''
Staring at the man, the teacher grinned with a Mona Lisa smile, ''Really? Is it a boy or a girl?''
The young assistant turned to the man ''If you simply say, 'I'm expecting', people would assume you're pregnant,'' she explained.
The man was me.
My very first lesson I learned in the Australian English class: I was not expecting and I never will.
Chinese - a bunch of grouches
When the smartphone became popular a few years back, my 12 year old son came up with the 'brilliant' idea that he would make an effort to get an 'A' for his Maths instead of a 'C', if I provided him with a smartphone.
''Smart phone smart boy,'' said he persuasively.
Wow, wow, boy, like father like son, aha.
"You've now learned to bargain, to negotiate! Well, it's the deal then! You make sure be a man."
I gave him a big high five and kept fingers crossed for months.
At the end of Term 2 my son brought an 'A' back home. He didn't break his promise but he lost his smartphone.
Though my boy was very upset, I ignored him and left him alone to swallow his own anger. He should learn to be responsible.
He was thinking over and over again when, where and how had he misplaced his phone. At last he suspected an ASD boy named Mickey may have taken it.
One day he came back home telling me he had got into a verbal fight with Mickey - his suspect.
He recalled Mickey's words yet forgot all his own arguments.
''My dad says: You, Chinese, are a bunch of grouches. You're Lemon People. You are so sour all the time. You don't smile at people. You see people but you act as if you don't see us. You are just plain grumpy.''
''Are we Chinese a bunch of grouches?'' I started smiling.
''I'm not grouchy,'' my son yelled, at ME, just as I were Mickey.
I thought to myself: well, I might be grouchy. I don't normally smile at strangers. Do I?
Perhaps, by the end of day, the loss of smartphone was worthwhile.
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管理人员评分floraz 在2015-5-29 00:03 +50分 并说
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天天的2002 (2004-12-16) sail 
发表于 2015-5-28 20:27
here you go, so we won't make such fools of ourselves.