大家来“找茬”，分分等你拿 - 20 Feb 2011

floraz

求职中常会需要写Cover Letter，以下这个简短的example中有一些错误及不确切的用法
欢迎大家纠错讨论~
并希望大家能分享一些cover letter的写作技巧
活动规则请见http://www.oursteps.com.au/bbs/v ... &extra=page%3D1：

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Dear Mr. Director,

　　I have learned from the newspaper that you are employing an administrative secretary. I am very much interesting in this position.

　　I have worked as a administrative secretary for a chemical company for the past three years, so I have some understanding of chemical industry. I graduated from the University of Technology with a bachelor degree. I am confident that my combination of practical work experience and solid educational experience has prepared me for making an immediate contribution to your company. I am fluent in both spoken and written English, having obtained CET-4 and CET-6 certificates. In addition, I have strong computer skills.

　　I would appreciate your time in reviewing my enclosed resume and if there is any additional informations you require, please contact me.

　　I am looking forward to speak to you.

　　Yours sincerely,

azurechris

no matter how much corrections added, cover letters as above will never stand out to grab any attention, at least won't grab mine if I'm the employer or recruiting manager. makes me believe that the applicant lacks intellectual sparks, plus creativity, just another ordinary candidate... Instead I'd really appreciate it to be able to read something more interesting on top of the qualifications stated above n how key criterias are met, any cover letter would benefit from working in more witty or humorous elements in terms of why and how u find your calling as such a role, regardless of what kind of a role that vacancy might be...in a nutshell, make it fun to read, its show time.

sunjoy

挺好的一个活动 谢谢楼上对于cover letter的见解
简单说一下 语法错误太多 而且什么都I......, I ........ 实在太平淡
cover letter需要涉及到的有以下
为什么这个职位对你而言那么重要
公司为什么要用你而不用其他人 原因在于
简短的阐述一下你的“过人之处”
cover letter在于简短精练

[ 本帖最后由 sunjoy 于 2011-2-20 21:55 编辑 ]

floraz

同意LS两位的
以上这个example是从国内网上找的Cover Letter模板
我又“修改”了一些
我也觉得这个求职信太平淡了，格式不太好
不够catchy，缺少highlights
还有一些语法问题

K

please remove the 's' from informations. Information is and should always be singular

homepage

I am very much interesting in this position.
是不是改成“I am interesting in this position very much. ”更顺口？

I am looking forward to speak to you.
改成“I am looking forward to speaking to you. ”
也许改成“I am looking forward to an interview opportunity. ”更好

000567

I have heard from the newspaper that you are employing an administrative secretary. I am very much interested in this position

Grange

"I am looking forward to speak to you." ---> "I look forward to speaking with you" OR "I look forward to hearing from you."

ozvany

I am confident that my combination of practical work working experience and solid educational experience has have prepared me for making an immediate contribution to your company.

[ 本帖最后由 ozvany 于 2011-3-2 23:33 编辑 ]

sydney

这样的活动以后要多搞，非常好。

maodoubao

I am very much interesting in this position
应该是 I am interested...
interest 这个词要注意， 是指 “事物 interest  人” ， 所以常用用被动形式 “人 be interested in 事物”。
I am a interesting man. 是说我是个有趣的人，而不是我对男人有兴趣。

类似的词还有 concern , 也是 “事物 concern 人”，所以要说
to whom IT may concern
I am concerned about...

还有其他的类似词一时想不起来了，欢迎补充。

[ 本帖最后由 maodoubao 于 2011-3-14 15:29 编辑 ]