英语找错

bulaohu

刚刚去www.abc.net.au/unleashed，看看有没有该骂的文章好骂上两句然后洗洗去睡，哪知道人家网站出问题了，显示出来这么一段话：

“We're Sorry...

We're unable to supply the service you have requested. This may be due to unavoidable technical problems or very high load on our site. We apologise for any inconvenience and anticipate that normal service will resume shortly.”

看得我乐了，刚刚在另外一个帖子里谈到Chinglish，这一段就是典型的Chinglish。大家有没有兴趣来指出其用词或者语气不当的地方，并加以改正，最好能把自己认为正确的句子写出来？共同学习，共同提高...

而且还有分分...

应飞飞要求，把个人意见搬到顶楼...

我还是先把我的观点详细解释一下，然后请大家拍砖

1. "We're Sorry" - It's not good to start with an unconditional apology. If you really want to apologize, say it after wards. "we apologize for the inconvenience" or "we regret" are better ways of saying it.

2. "supply the service" is a direct, word-to-word translation of 提供服务。The guy who wrote this is still thinking in Chinese.

3. "unavoidable" technical problems? Only death, tax and natural disaster are "unavoidable". "Unexpected" is much more suitable. Actually, "unavoidable" sounds a lot more like an excuse than a sincere explanation!

4. "normal" service. This is no such a thing called "normal" service. Once again, this is a direct translation of 正常服务, which is a popular Chinese phrase in this context, but in English it should be "back to normal" or "restore the service", depending on the context.

5. "resume" - like point 4, "restore" is more suitable than "resume", you restore something after it's broken, you resume something after you purposely stopped it in a controlled manner.

[ 本帖最后由 bulaohu 于 2008-7-14 11:40 编辑 ]

rogerk

我来试试看阿。。。大家砖头准备。。

Sorry...

The service you requested is not available due to unexpected technical problems or high loading on the site. We apologize for any inconvenience and we are working on restoring the service as soon as possible.

degra

maintenance window ？

bulaohu

原帖由 rogerk 于 2008-7-14 00:31 发表
我来试试看阿。。。大家砖头准备。。

Sorry...

The service you requested is not available due to unexpected technical problems or high loading on the site. We apologize for any inconvenience and we ...

I'd say "heavy load" or "high traffic" instead of "high loading". The rest sounds perfect to me though.

bulaohu

俺还是自己抛个砖先

“We're Sorry...We're unable to supply the service you have requested. This may be due to unavoidable technical problems or very high load on our site. We apologise for any inconvenience and anticipate that normal service will resume shortly.”

红色的都是我认为表达不自然或者不地道的地方。

[ 本帖最后由 bulaohu 于 2008-7-14 00:50 编辑 ]

gkgkgk

这句话有chinglish吗？……

Settlement

如果真的觉得这个句子有问题的人，也许还是需要学点英语啊我想。

Onedollars

Agree, don't think there is anything wrong with the sentence.

Ausbear

I thought my English is so bad that I couldn't find any error in this sentence.

patrickzhu

我们公司的aussie看了后，认为这些话还是写的很好的
没啥大问题，但是第二句用heavy traffic 更恰当。

一炷香

不用那么计较拉，communication关键是人家明白你的意思。鬼佬很多都说long time no see，也没什么大问题阿。

Ausbear

原帖由 Onedollars 于 2008-7-14 08:30 发表
Agree, don't think there is anything wrong with the sentence.

Your name should be "Onedollar" though :)

jasonliu234

为什么觉得是中国式英语？

jasonliu234

load 可以做名词，负荷的的意思。

loading 的感觉，更像是装货上车的感觉。

[ 本帖最后由 jasonliu234 于 2008-7-14 10:43 编辑 ]

阿Ka

原帖由 Ausbear 于 2008-7-14 10:32 发表


Your name should be "Onedollar" though :)

terran

原帖由 一炷香 于 2008-7-14 08:57 发表
不用那么计较拉，communication关键是人家明白你的意思。鬼佬很多都说long time no see，也没什么大问题阿。

这个已经是惯用语了，不知道是不是来自中国

terran

“We're unable to supply the service you have requested.” 我不知道有没有错，更常见的是" currently, we're experiencing technical difficulties due to some unexpected ........"

intel5858

原帖由 bulaohu 于 2008-7-14 00:49 发表
俺还是自己抛个砖先

“We're Sorry...We're unable to supply the service you have requested. This may be due to unavoidable technical problems or very high load on our site. We apologise for any incon ...

我的英语不好，但觉得在这个情况下，用Supply the service, unavoidable technical problems 和 anticipate that normal service这三处有点怪怪的，我自己是不会用这样的说法。

bffbffbff

个人感觉 ＂supply the service＂ 确实听上去感觉有点点怪

widelink

I think that in most cases  these sentences should be written with the third pronoun except  the last one ' We apologise for any inconvenience' .  However, it's not compulsary.

dfg

the sentence modified by #2 looks better.

steveking

LZ 提的意见狠有道理。。。
服务商就应该是 SERVICE PROVIDER，比如 ISP (INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER)
既然是提供服务的一方，就应该努力去解决问题，而不是 ANTICIPATE （期待）问题能够自己消失
SERVICE 要么有，要么没有，没有 NORMAL SERVICE 和 ABNORMAL SERVICE 之说。
个人愚见。

BTW,2＃ 的解答狠赞

原帖由 bulaohu 于 2008-7-14 00:49 发表
俺还是自己抛个砖先

“We're Sorry...We're unable to supply the service you have requested. This may be due to unavoidable technical problems or very high load on our site. We apologise for any incon ...

bffbffbff

刚才光扫了下楼顶没细看２楼的句子，写的确实很不错，很顺

bulaohu

这...既然有同学认为这句子里面根本没有不地道的地方，我还是先把我的观点详细解释一下，然后请大家拍砖

原文：
We're Sorry...We're unable to supply the service you have requested. This may be due to unavoidable technical problems or very high load on our site. We apologise for any inconvenience and anticipate that normal service will resume shortly.

1. "We're Sorry" - It's not good to start with an unconditional apology. If you really want to apologize, say it after wards. "we apologize for the inconvenience" or "we regret" are better ways of saying it.

2. "supply the service" is a direct, word-to-word translation of 提供服务。The guy who wrote this is still thinking in Chinese.

3. "unavoidable" technical problems? Only death, tax and natural disaster are "unavoidable". "Unexpected" is much more suitable. Actually, "unavoidable" sounds a lot more like an excuse than a sincere explanation!

4. "normal" service. This is no such a thing called "normal" service. Once again, this is a direct translation of 正常服务, which is a popular Chinese phrase in this context, but in English it should be "back to normal" or "restore the service", depending on the context.

5. "resume" - like point 4, "restore" is more suitable than "resume", you restore something after it's broken, you resume something after you purposely stopped it in a controlled manner.

[ 本帖最后由 bulaohu 于 2008-7-14 11:22 编辑 ]

taoyuan

个人认为没有问题啊。
关于traffic和load，traffic是指流量，表示动态；load是负载，我向这里描述的是他们
server繁忙程度。在他们没有搞清楚是service provider的问题（传输流量）还是自己的问题（server）之前，还是说是自己的问题比较妥当。

bffbffbff

老虎把这段评语应该加到顶楼，这个贴就成了个很不错的好帖拉

Onedollars

You are so smart!! But the reason I use onedollars is to avoid duplicate names.

rogerk

原帖由 bulaohu 于 2008-7-14 00:46 发表


I'd say "heavy load" or "high traffic" instead of "high loading". The rest sounds perfect to me though.

说的有道理，heavy load 或者 high traffic 更加合适。"high loading"是不好，而且loading这个词用错了，应该是"load"。

rogerk

原帖由 patrickzhu 于 2008-7-14 08:51 发表
我们公司的aussie看了后，认为这些话还是写的很好的
没啥大问题，但是第二句用heavy traffic 更恰当。

我觉得是不是洋人对这些个都很宽容阿？或者他们不好意思说我们英文不好？

perhaps_love

我昨晚也在网上看到这段提示英文，当时心还想，哇，学习一下，表达方式跟我们平时的不同呢