帮同学翻译了几句话,请大家给挑挑毛病

家有双宝

应该是几句打广告的话:

光绪年间，黄河在此入海
二十世纪初，吕剧在此诞生
1961年华北油区第一井在此诞生
1983年东营市在此诞生
2008年东营CBD在此诞生
012年唐正四季花园在此诞生

我的翻译如下

The Yellow River entered the sea from here during the reign of Guangxu Emperor.
Lv Opera (Shandong Opera) originated on this soil at the beginning of 20th century.
The first oil well in North China oil-producing region was drilled here in 1961.
The City of Dongying was established here in 1983.
The Dongying CBD was set up here in 2008.
Tangzheng Garden is coming into the world right here in 2012.


不熟悉广告英语，随便翻的，请各位达人给指正一下，哪里不合适？或应该怎么翻？

谢谢

家有双宝

自己顶一下

杨白劳

at the beginning of 20th century.

也许换成 in the beginning of 20th century. 既然是起源，就不是定点的时间，用at就没有in好。

或in the early 20th century.

Agamemnon

the 20th century

家有双宝

原帖由 杨白劳 于 2012-8-15 17:44 发表

也许换成 in the beginning of 20th century. 既然是起源，就不是定点的时间，用at就没有in好。

或in the early 20th century.

谢谢

家有双宝

原帖由 Agamemnon 于 2012-8-15 17:48 发表
the 20th century

谢谢

xlin8703

家有双宝

或者这么写，

This is where
The Yellow River entered the sea during the reign of Guangxu Emperor;
Lv Opera (Shandong Opera) originated in the beginning of the 20th century;
The first oil well in North China oil-producing region was drilled in 1961;
The City of Dongying was established in 1983;
The Dongying CBD was set up in 2008.

And now
Tangzheng Garden is coming into the world right here in 2012.

杨白劳

原帖由 家有双宝 于 2012-8-16 13:57 发表
或者这么写，

This is where
The Yellow River entered the sea during the reign of Guangxu Emperor;
Lv Opera (Shandong Opera) originated in the beginning of the 20th century;
The first oil well in North C ...

during the reign... 有些牵强，好像光绪一死，黄河也改了入海口一般。

The mouth of Yellow River was relocated here in the (time of Guangxu Emperor,) late 19th century.

光绪年间是中文说法，直接翻译过来就显得牵强了，建议改成时间。

家有双宝

原帖由 杨白劳 于 2012-8-16 16:15 发表


during the reign... 有些牵强，好像光绪一死，黄河也改了入海口一般。

The mouth of Yellow River was relocated here in the (time of Guangxu Emperor,) late 19th century.

光绪年间是中文说法，直接翻译过来就显得牵强了，建议改成时间。

有道理，谢谢

keepdancing

光绪年间，黄河在此入海
二十世纪初，吕剧在此诞生
1961年华北油区第一井在此诞生
1983年东营市在此诞生
2008年东营CBD在此诞生
012年唐正四季花园在此诞生

谢谢信任！回复有点迟，见谅！粗看了一下，个人感觉这种文体主要是想使用编年表的形式，把有关地点的重要历史事件罗列一下，然后把这个房产项目与之并列，以显示其重要意义。所以，我想翻译还是从建立Chronicles的形式，这样也应当符合起草人的原意。楼主不妨看一下这类年表是怎么写的就好办了。
年份     重要事件（译文不需要是完整的句子）

keepdancing

家有双宝 发表于 2012-8-16 13:57
或者这么写，

This is where

挺好的！