social turn off

jodansam

This morning I brought my son to a playground to meet one of the mothers I met through mothers group. This was our first social meeting outside the mothers group. I don't have a lot of impression of her, just thought it would be nice to have a playmate for my son even though her daughter is bit older. We talked a little bit about our children and suddenly she started to asking me "what do your husband do? how did meet? How did you come to Australia etc, although I wasn't every comfortable about those questions as we are not that close yet, I still answered her questions. I told her that I met my husband online, she then reacted shocked, '' oh you must be very brave, I always thought online dating is very dangerous.....

I felt really uncomfortable, but still defended myself. This was really a social turn off situation for me, it's a quite subtle and complicated emotion,I couldn't say she is not a nice person, but I knew we didn't connect, so I don't believe I am going to meet her outside mothers group again.

Has anyone had any similar experience before, am I jumping into conclusions too quickly

korfi

其实我觉得不用太在意。也许你是在国外久了，所以比较注意这些PRIVACY， 但是她可能也没什么恶意。如果不喜欢，就先不要近距离接触了。但也没必要刻意避开。个人意见。

jodansam

I agree with you, life if made of series of upsetting events and happy moments, I won't let things as this small affect me, however I do feel much better after i did this post. I guess we all need a way to release our inner thoughts. Being a toddler's mother sometimes can be lonely, I really like this saying from "desperate housewives" ' sometimes you feel lonely but you can never be alone. Classic'. ....Don't get me wrong, I love my son more than anything.

southeast

没感觉她说了什么难听的话，既然在MOTHER GROUP 以为相聚，就是想进一半发展友谊。 天下的女人都爱八卦，无论中国还是澳大利亚。 你如果好奇，也可以问啊。

southeast

没感觉她说了什么难听的话，既然在MOTHER GROUP 以为相聚，就是想进一半发展友谊。 天下的女人都爱八卦，无论中国还是澳大利亚。 你如果好奇，也可以问啊。

itispp

The good thing about living in the West is that we can learn to be more assertive. You decide on ur lifestyle, what you like or not and never feel under pressure that you need to be shy or avoid losing a face.
Next time you don't have to answer any question you feel uncomfortable. You just need to distract her with other things, eg. showing interest in her dressings, in her children, etc.

jodansam

I don't think you understood what I was trying to say, anyway, I am not going to ask those questions just because she asked. It might not be nothing wrong to you, but it does to me. As I said she may not be a bad person, but you don't make friends with anyone.Of course my definition of friends may not be the same as yours.

jodansam

The good thing about living in the West is that we can learn to be more assertive. You decide on ur lifestyle, what you like or not and never feel under pressure that you need to be shy or avoid losing a face.
Next time you don't have to answer any question you feel uncomfortable. You just need to distract her with other things, eg. showing interest in her dressings, in her children, etc.

Good advice, I know my weakness is sometimes not assertive enough.

XIAOTUDOU

原帖由 jodansam 于 2011-5-5 14:20 发表
This morning I brought my son to a playground to meet one of the mothers I met through mothers group. This was our first social meeting outside the mothers group. I don't have a lot of impression of h ...

话题太正常了。
楼主听说过啦家常没有？:)

Lucifer

感觉人家也就是没话说，敷衍一下。你还没反应过来，反映过来后，又往心里去了。

afei1928

我不喜欢别人问这些问题，在国内就不喜欢，这个就是没事打听人家隐私。人家老公干吗关你什么事？搂主的case我也碰到过的，当时就烦得要命，跟你又不熟，打听那么多干嘛？更讨厌的是，你把话题岔开，她一会儿又绕回来了。家常有很多东西可以拉，非得聊隐私？

jodansam

感觉人家也就是没话说，敷衍一下。你还没反应过来，反映过来后，又往心里去了。

"Thanks for point it out, I didn't know that she was actually not into the conversation, thanks a lot for enlighten me".

daisystar88

If you don't feel comfortable with this woman, just avoid her next time.

Actually it's quite common in Australia to talk about family, even with people you first met.

Alicia7

She sounds intrusive,there are lots to talk about other than how the hubby makes a living.