参加活动——澳洲国宝级原住民女作家自传体作品 My Place

annahw

巧了，前几天正好想到了这本书，写了不成熟书评，微改拿来参加活动。

去年读的这本书，读此书时我真是没有想到今年这么轰轰烈烈的运动中，我能更理解游行的人，就是基于这本书。不得不说，作者非常会讲故事，把“家事”写得有种悬疑感。

书的一开始，就是母女俩的对话：
‘Can’t you just leave the past buried? It won’t hurt anyone then.’
‘Mum, it’s already hurt people. It’s hurt you and me and Nan, all of us …’
埋葬过去，因此它不会再伤害任何人?   但是它已经伤害了我们！

My Place 从50后作者Sally Morgan自己视角开始讲起，她的父亲是名白人，参加过战争后，无法疗愈战争创伤，最后自杀了。而童年时代，她和母亲经常去医院里探访父亲。
五六十年代的Perth. 感觉有点象我们国家的《人生》？ 一幅down to earth的画卷慢慢展开。从自己上学，遇到的老师，遇到的同学。不喜欢上学，因为有老师给读书而短暂地喜欢上学，后来又因为一次老师的批评不喜欢上学……

开始有同学问到，所以她开始慢慢的找寻自己的过去，然而mother (Gladys )和grandmother (Daisy Corruna)却告诉自己祖上是从印度来的。直到作者15岁的时候，一场家庭风波：自己的姥姥哭喊着，孩子们不想要我这个姥姥，因为我是 black,black,black. 之后，她才知道自己并不是来自印度的，而是Boong(我猜就是和“内个”“土包子” “农村人” 差不多的贬义称呼？）

‘Mum said we’re Indian.’

‘Look at Nan, does she look Indian?’

‘I’ve never really thought about how she looks. Maybe she comes from some Indian tribe we don’t know about.’

‘Ha! That’ll be the day! You know what we are, don’t you?’

‘No, what?’

‘Boongs, we’re boongs!’ I could see Jill was unhappy with the idea.

It took a few minutes before I summoned up enough courage to say, ‘What’s a boong?’

‘A boong. You know, Aboriginal. God, of all things, we’re Aboriginal!’

‘Oh.’ I suddenly understood. There was a great deal of social stigma attached to being Aboriginal at our school.

‘I can’t believe you’ve never heard the word boong,’ she muttered in disgust. ‘Haven’t you ever listened to the kids at school? If they want to run you down, they say, “Aah, ya just a boong.” Honestly, Sally, you live the whole of your life in a daze!’

日子一天天过去，作者一天天长大，母亲都好象对过去知之甚少，Nan更是一如既往地不愿意触及过去。要求forget the past. 但此时，转机来了。姥姥唯一的兄弟Arthur来看姥姥时，说自己愿意说出自己的故事。舅姥爷的故事，更是令人觉得惊心动魄。过去曾经类似奴隶或长工被卖，给各种白人干活，有次被裸体毒打，一群少年偷偷逃跑出来，慢慢开始run自己的农场……

书的50%-60%部分讲的都是Arthur的生命画卷。

Arthur认为：“Take the white people in Australia, they brought the religion here with them and the Commandment, Thou Shalt Not Steal, and yet they stole this country. They took it from the innocent. You see, they twisted the religion. That’s not the way it’s supposed to be.”

而不久舅姥爷阖然而逝，仿佛是对过去的一次初见。下一章的标题是：Where to next?

母亲流泪读完舅姥爷的故事：
‘It’s a wonderful story.’ Mum had tears in her eyes when she finished reading Arthur’s story.

而此时，她们更加感觉到对Nan她们是知之甚少。于是下一步便是如何ease Nan's tongue. 于是她们决定北上回一趟Nan的出生地 Corunna Downs（类似我们的钮钴禄屯？）。进一步探究自己的来处。
After much thought, I decided that our best course was to return to Nan and Arthur’s birthplace, Corunna Downs.

回到Perth后，母亲Glady愿意讲出自己的故事。父亲的精神问题，与母亲的遇见。母亲小时候，姥姥是某户白人（目前住在悉尼）的厨师，很小就在类似于监狱的学校中长大，孤独院里有小朋友生病离开人世，也有象她一样，只有非常少的时间才能见到自己母亲的孩子。最令人悲伤的一幕莫过于，有一次学校组织去zoo, 回去的船上，她见到了自己的母亲——在对面的 ferry 上，却母女没能相视：

We all settled down on the ferry and were soon chugging back across the Swan River. I had a seat right up near the water and I watched as the ripples came out from under the boat and slowly faded away.

Then I noticed another ferry coming across from the other side, so I leaned over to look to see how close it was going to come to our boat. To my surprise, I saw my mother sitting on the ferry, as pretty as ever in her blue suit. I couldn’t believe it. I called out to her, I shouted and waved my arms. She must have known I was going to the zoo, I thought, but she’s got the wrong time, she’s going to miss me. She might go to see me at the zoo and I won’t be there. I jumped up and down and called and called. My mother sat upright on the ferry, she never even turned her head in my direction.

Within minutes, our boats had passed, and I realised she hadn’t heard me calling.

I sat back on the wooden seat and slumped into a corner. The other kids just looked at me, they never said anything. I forgot all about the elephants and bears and lions. All I could think about was my mother. The sadness inside me was so great I couldn’t even cry.

母亲故事的叙述使得过去一切明朗了一半(母亲的那一半，为什么面对战争创伤伤害的丈夫，有次夜里竟要掐死自己而不离婚？），但姥姥依然不愿意开口，她说自己的一切只属于自己。
期间又经过很多事情，全书的90%时，Nan终于愿意讲述自己的故事了。 good news. 奴仆生活。

Every morning, they woke us up with a bell. It was only ’bout five o’clock, could have been earlier. We all slept down in the camp, a good way from the main house. Every morning, someone would light a lamp, walk down into the gully and ring a bell. When I was very little, I used to get frightened. I thought it was the devil-devil come to get me。


一副生离死别的画面，Nan甚至记不清自己具体何时出生，自己大约十四五风的时候从的母亲身边离开，以受教育为名。十几岁的孩子喊着妈妈，而妈妈的内心是如何的心如刀割？从此一别两宽，却再都难生欢喜。

They told my mother I was goin’ to get educated. They told all the people I was goin’ to school. I thought it’d be good, goin’ to school. I thought I’d be somebody real important. My mother wanted me to learn to read and write like white people. Then she wanted me to come back and teach her. There was a lot of the older people interested in learnin’ how to read and write then.

Why did they tell my mother that lie? Why do white people tell so many lies? I got nothin’ out of their promises. My mother wouldn’t have let me go just to work. God will make them pay for their lies. He’s got people like that under the whip. They should have told my mother the truth. She thought I was coming back.

When I left, I was cryin’, all the people were cryin’, my mother was cryin’ and beatin’ her head. Lily was cryin’. I called, ‘Mum, Mum, Mum!’ She said, ‘Don’t forget me, Talahue!’

They all thought I was coming back. I thought I’d only be gone a little while. I could hear their wailing for miles and miles. ‘Talahue! Talahue!’ They were singin’ out my name, over and over. I couldn’t stop cryin’. I kept callin’, ‘Mum! Mum!’

然后被卖给人家。做家事。

最后Nan说道，“I been scared all my life, too scared to speak out. Maybe if you’d have had my life, you’d be scared, too.”

Do you think we’ll get some respect? I like to think the black man will get treated same as the white man one day. Be good, wouldn’t it? By gee, it’d be good.


Nan的故事读完了，她不愿意讲的依然要自己带走。

When Nan finished telling me her story, I was filled with conflicting emotions. I was happy for her because she felt she’d achieved something. It meant so much to be able to talk and to be believed. But I was sad for myself and my mother. Sad for all the things Nan felt she couldn’t share.

the birds call ，最后一章，是Nan的离开。


My phone rang at seven that same morning.

‘Sally? It’s Ruth. Nan died twenty minutes ago. It was very peaceful.’

‘Thanks,’ I whispered.

I slowly replaced the receiver. I felt stiff. I couldn’t move. Tears suddenly flooded my cheeks. For some reason, Jill’s words from the previous day began echoing inside of me. I heard the bird call, I heard the bird call. Around and around.

‘Oh, Nan,’ I cried with sudden certainty, ‘I heard it, too. In my heart, I heard it.’

============


从开始的象detective一样，不明白为什么Nan不愿意承认自己是aboriginal. 随着这些故事，以及作者去图书馆的调研，一切慢慢归功于一项：

Thousands of families in Australia were destroyed by the government policy of taking children away. None of that happened to white people.

作者的母亲故事中：
It was after the visit from the Welfare lady that Mum and I decided we would definitely never tell the children they were Aboriginal. We were both convinced they would have a bad time otherwise. Also, if word got out, another Welfare person might come and take them away. That would have killed us both.

Mum said she didn’t want the children growing up with people looking down on them. I understood what she meant. Aboriginals were treated the lowest of the low. It was like they were the race on earth that had nothing to offer.

而为何与精神有问题的丈夫不敢离婚？原因也在于Aboriginal 离婚后可能孩子会被带走到孤独院，而她觉得自己除了孩子一无所有。丈夫也是战争的牺牲品……

所以这是一个慢慢 freeing the tongues of the author’s mother and grandmother, allowing them to tell their own stories的过程。
虽然很多答案已经无从寻找，但为什么她们都不约而同地 hide the truth of their past from their children？因为恐惧，因为心理阴影面积太大。一项政策，千百万人妻离子散，流离失所。

本书获得了很多奖项：Winner of the 1987 Australian Human Rights Award for Literature and the 1990 Order of Australia Book Prize。确实“ My Place is an Australian classic.”

掩卷长叹息。谁说不幸的人生各自不同？阶级与歧视或者就是人性黑暗的昭然若揭。我们内耗的根源或者便是我们不同的mindset? 因此人生啊，显微镜下处处烽火，却也同时拿着放大镜去外太空寻找。

书群里有位智者说过一个观点：地球上还有那么多沙漠，荒岛和大陆架都没好好利用，生存环境比外星火星好多了，技术也比较成熟，只是成本太高，但是比起移居外星还是便宜太多了，用外星移民多少分之一的研发投入应该就能把成本降低。

可是，还能再有一次五月花之旅吗？它带来的确是平等与自由吗？自由非要靠deface Cook 雕像来表达吗？自由的距离有多远，平等的距离有多远？永远有多远？

虞宅与美丽

永远有多远？

annahw

虞宅与美丽 发表于 2020-6-16 00:36
永远有多远？

是的，我们内心有那么多希望，希望永远自由，希望永远和平，希望永远平等，希望地球永远美丽，希望我们人类永远存活，永远有希望，永远能找到最适合我们的那颗星，永远有可以打捞到的繁星……
这永远有多远？

annahw

这本书中作者小时候开始上学的时候，不喜欢上学，装病。但有一件事情让她不用再”生病“——老师开始读小熊Winnie了。让孩子喜欢上学是那么那么简单的一件事情啊。
Our teacher began reading stories about Winnie the Pooh every Wednesday. From then on, I was never sick on Wednesdays.

遥想到我们十岁的小姑娘可馨，叹啊！
天堂里没有歧视没有打压，不用为了一篇作文而查度娘……

annahw

第二学期，其实Sally小姑娘是爱上学，因为她爱上了阅读。
By the beginning of second term at school, I had learnt to read, and was the best reader in my class. Reading opened up new horizons for me, but it also created a hunger that school couldn’t satisfy.

而似乎天生，每个孩子都爱画画。Sally也不例外。尤其是学期末听说家长们要在 display on Parents’ Night来看选中的几幅画作的时候，她可用心地画了。然后就是车祸现场：
here was no doubt in my mind that mine would be one of the chosen few. With great concentration and determination, I pored over my page, crayoning and detailing my parents. I kept my arm over my work so no one could copy. Suddenly, a hand tapped my shoulder and Miss Glazberg said, ‘Let me see yours, Sally.’ I sat back in my chair.

‘Ooh, goodness me!’ she muttered as she patted her heart. ‘Oh, my goodness me. On no, dear, not like that. Definitely not like that!’

Before I could stop her, she picked up my page and walked quickly to her desk. I watched in dismay as my big-bosomed, large-nippled mother and well-equipped father disappeared with a scrunch into her personal bin. I was hurt and embarrassed, the children around me snickered. It hadn’t occurred to me you were meant to draw them with clothes on.

By the beginning of third term, I had developed an active dislike of school. I was bored and lonely. Even though the other children talked to me, I found it difficult to respond.

Dad didn’t seem to be very interested in my schooling, either. He never asked me how I was going or whether I had any problems. In fact, the closest contact Dad had with my education was a brutal encounter with my black print pencil.

I was sitting on our old velvet lounge, sharpening the pencil for school, and, just when I decided I was satisfied with its razor-s
around me snickered. It hadn’t occurred to me you were meant to draw them with clothes on.
然后她开始不喜欢 上学。
By the beginning of third term, I had developed an active dislike of school. I was bored and lonely. Even though the other children talked to me, I found it difficult to respond.

LeoZhang10

总结的好棒 从另一个族群的不同角度来看待世界上曾发生过的事