参加活动《我和英语，那些不得不说的尴尬事〉 Was I pregnant?

acb

Was I pregnant?

A university campus.
A group of foreign students were quietly settled down in class waiting for their English teacher, Mrs McRoberts to come. However, since there was no sign of her a few of students tried to ‘break the ice’ sending a flow of broken English throughout the room.

''Sorry, I'm late,'' a silver-haired female figure rushed into the room carrying a large document wallet and a tray of scones while a further four or five steps behind her followed her young female assistant.

''It's my husband's fault!'' she said. ''I waited for his scones they are for us all during the break.''
Then noting the man sitting in the very first seat was trying to put his books in place she added in such a way that it was almost a whisper, ''You aren't going to leave. Are you?''

In an attempt to give some assurance to the elderly lady the well-dressed middle-aged man awkwardly but carefully replied in his flawed English, 'No, I am not going to leave. I am expecting, we all are.''

Staring at the man, the teacher grinned with a Mona Lisa smile, ''Really? Is it a boy or a girl?''

The young assistant turned to the man ''If you simply say, 'I'm expecting', people would assume you're pregnant,'' she explained.

The man was me.
My very first lesson I learned in the Australian English class: I was not expecting and I never will.



Chinese - a bunch of grouches

When the smartphone became popular a few years back, my 12 year old son came up with the 'brilliant' idea that he would make an effort to get an 'A' for his Maths instead of a 'C', if I provided him with a smartphone.
''Smart phone smart boy,'' said he persuasively.

Wow, wow, boy, like father like son, aha.
"You've now learned to bargain, to negotiate! Well, it's the deal then! You make sure be a man."
I gave him a big high five and kept fingers crossed for months.

At the end of Term 2 my son brought an 'A' back home. He didn't break his promise but he lost his smartphone.

Though my boy was very upset, I ignored him and left him alone to swallow his own anger. He should learn to be responsible.

He was thinking over and over again when, where and how had he misplaced his phone. At last he suspected an ASD boy named Mickey may have taken it.

One day he came back home telling me he had got into a verbal fight with Mickey - his suspect.

He recalled Mickey's words yet forgot all his own arguments.

''My dad says: You, Chinese, are a bunch of grouches. You're Lemon People. You are so sour all the time. You don't smile at people. You see people but you act as if you don't see us. You are just plain grumpy.''

''Are we Chinese a bunch of grouches?'' I started smiling.
''I'm not grouchy,'' my son yelled, at ME, just as I were Mickey.

I thought to myself: well, I might be grouchy. I don't normally smile at strangers. Do I?

Perhaps, by the end of day, the loss of smartphone was worthwhile.

kakei14

做下笔记，学到以下用法

I am expecting

a bunch of grouches

Lemon People

You are so sour all the time.

江北

第二个故事看了两遍才看明白。。。两个故事都有很强的新概念的痕迹。。。。

iami_returns

plain grumpy还是 plainly grumpy?我不懂英文，瞎问两句

acb

kakei14 发表于 2015-5-28 19:41
做下笔记，学到以下用法

I am expecting

Thank you kakei14 for being supportive.

Are you expecting?

acb

江北 发表于 2015-5-28 20:03
第二个故事看了两遍才看明白。。。两个故事都有很强的新概念的痕迹。。。。 ...

I'd love to hear more from you.
I did put some thoughts into the second one.
You may have read between the lines.

acb

iami_returns 发表于 2015-5-28 22:10
plain grumpy还是 plainly grumpy?我不懂英文，瞎问两句

All feedback is highly appreciated.
It's 'plain grumpy' - a colloquial expression, positive

floraz

LZ写的很好
不过有的事不一定要用从句，用长句子。
把句子分成短句表达也许更清晰

acb

floraz 发表于 2015-5-28 23:10
LZ写的很好
不过有的事不一定要用从句，用长句子。
把句子分成短句表达也许更清晰 ...

'Genius hits a target no one else can see. '

Very true, Floraz.
KISS won't go wrong.

iami_returns

acb 发表于 2015-5-28 22:56
All feedback is highly appreciated.
It's 'plain grumpy' - a colloquial expression, positive {:1_1 ...

是吗？就是感觉听到耳朵不顺，就像一直听人说badly wrong，突然有人说bad wrong一样

aladdin_lamp

进来学英语的

mamajia

看故事还这么累,

lucyyan

acb

mamajia 发表于 2015-6-2 14:35
看故事还这么累,

不好意思了，请谅解

acb

Thank you
A university campus carpark
Three young men approached the carpark as I was getting off my car, then a moment later we all arrived in the carpark entrance at the same time.
One of the men smiled at me and said, 'After you!'
How polite they were. I opened my mouth meant to say, 'Thank you, mates.'
What I heard in return was, 'Thank you, not shank you.'
Since then I've known 'breathe' not 'breeze'; known 'clothing' not 'closing'.
Sigh, my pronunciation!


（谢谢　fiddlehead 　指正拼写错误）

acb

Youtube

The squad of school boys gathered on the playground at morning break. In no time to chat like they usually do, they started throwing a paper ball at each other acting apparently as their minds were on something else. The boys were, in fact, upset because in the homeroom this morning they had been told that the school had blocked access to Youtube on the school computers. That's really a tough pill for the boys to swallow.

Well understanding how bored the other boys were, my son was cheeky so he took out his smartphone swiping down the features on the screen.

'Hey, buddy, what are you up to?' asked curiously one of the boys.
'I'm on you too bee, watching the videos,' my son flashed a showy, conspicuous smile.

'You too bee?' the boys got closer to my son staring at his gadget.
'Aha, you mean you tube.'

My boy learned the mispronunciation of Youtube from me.
I learned the correct one from him.

msknownone

写的很好，感觉心态很平静，尤其是各种形容。学习了。不过有些句子的确好长啊：
a silver-haired female figure rushed into the room carrying a large document wallet and a tray of scones while a further four or five steps behind her followed her young female assistant.

When the smartphone became popular a few years back, my 12 year old son came up with the 'brilliant' idea that he would make an effort to get an A for his Maths instead of a C, if I provided him with a smartphone.

fiddlehead

acb 发表于 2015-6-6 07:59
Thank you
A university campus carpark
Three young men approached the carpark as I was getting off my ...

你是想说sigh，不是sign么？

acb

msknownone 发表于 2015-6-10 12:00
写的很好，感觉心态很平静，尤其是各种形容。学习了。不过有些句子的确好长啊：
a silver-haired female fi ...

floraz 也提过这点
所以后两个，我注意避免长句子了

bibisos

Good job. Please keep going.

大山

楼主就是那个澳洲本土人吗

大山

哈哈 我说原来打工的时候有个华人说I m expecting you , 鬼佬们大笑不止 原来有这个典故

stmimi

很有帮助.

hsialy

帮顶一个

fish_cat

12 years old
make sure be a man感觉哪不对 make sure不能直接跟be 动词吧

天涯芳草

Are you expecting a call from Mr Green? Are you expecting to receive a patient from us? 这些说法不都在用吗

acb

大山 发表于 2015-7-19 09:11
哈哈 我说原来打工的时候有个华人说I m expecting you , 鬼佬们大笑不止 原来有这个典故 ...

here you go, so we won't make such fools of ourselves.

重机枪手

ASD boy named Mickey, 小小年纪就种族偏见不浅啊