大家来“找茬”，分分等你拿 - 22 Nov 2010

floraz

farewell email我们在工作中常见到，以下这个example中有一些小错误及不确切的用法
其欢迎大家纠错讨论~
活动规则请见http://www.oursteps.com.au/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=289211&extra=page%3D1：

******************************************************

Dear All ,

Hope you are well !

Sorry to say good-bye to everybody , I will leave the company on 20th June .

It's my pleasure to thank you for all your support and love to me during the passed more than 2 years , I feel so grateful to have the chance to work with you and get to know so many of you. and I do thank you very much to give me the opportunity to grow up  !
Now the company will direct cooperation with customer , hope the company have a very successful future , I reget the loss of this job ,but for me , if something lost, there must be other thing won, also I was still young and there are many other things waiting for me to learn , I want to go back to my hometown to do my own things , I believe you can kindly understande !

Say thanks again for your great help !

Ms Green will take over my job in the future, please send all the relattion informations to her directly .

I wish you and your families a full life of good health and happiness always. And I will miss you all so much !
If you are free, please keep in touch with me as belowing informations  :
Tel : ***********
Email: *************

[ 本帖最后由 floraz 于 2010-11-22 12:30 编辑 ]

Y叔

Dear All ,

Hope you are well !

Sorry to say good-bye to everybody , I'm leaving the company on the 20th of June .

It's my pleasure to thank you for all your support and love to me during the past 2 years , I feel so grateful to have the chance to work with you and get to know so many of you. and I do thank you very much to give me the opportunity to grow up  !
Now the company will direct collaborate with customers and hope the company have a very successful future. I regret the loss of this job. However for me, if something lost, there must be another thing to win. And also I am still young and there are many other things awaiting for me to learn. I want to go back to my hometown to do my own things. I wish you can understand.

Say thanks again for your great help !

Ms Green will take over my job in the future, please send all the related information to her directly .

I wish you and your families a full life of good health and happiness always. And I will miss you all so much !
Please keep in touch:

忘记了都改什么了。

[ 本帖最后由 ys98 于 2010-11-22 14:36 编辑 ]

floraz

感谢lz分享，可不可以把修改之处用红色highlight出来，以便区分？:)

rogerk

就看了两句，错误太多了吧。。

floraz

原帖由 rogerk 于 2010-11-22 13:47 发表
就看了两句，错误太多了吧。。

欢迎纠错

rabbit13579

You may try this one:

I wanted to take a moment to let you know that I am leaving my position at xxx company on 20th June. I will be back to my hometown in the near future.
I have enjoyed my tenure here and I appreciate having had the opportunity to work with you. Thank you for the support, guidance, and encouragement you have provided me during my time at xxx. Even though I will miss my colleagues and the company, I am looking forward to this new challenge and to starting a new phase of my career.
I know Ms Green will do an excellent job of taking over my responsibilities.
Please keep in touch, I can be reached at my personal email address (sss@xxx.com) or at home, xxxx-xxxxxx
Thanks again for everything.
Yours truly,
xxx

homepage

From now on the company will directly cooperated with customers. , Hope the company have a very successful future.

I reget the loss of this job ,but for me , if something lost, there must be other thing won, also I was still young and there are many other things waiting for me to learn (These sentences are not necessary at all! It is not proper to say you are regret)


I feel sorry to leave the company but I need to go back to my hometown to do my own things (maybe better delete 'to do my own things') , I believe you can kindly understande ! (change to 'Thank you for understanding').

floraz

谢谢ls各位
欢迎大家继续纠错讨论~

并不了解这个公司的背景，不过我个人觉得cooperate with customers这个用法不太恰当
如果是指直接与客户进行生意往来，用deal directly with customers更合适

rhoda

Dear All ,

Hope you are well !

Sorry to say good-bye to everybody , I am leaving the company on 20th June .

It's my pleasure to thank you for all your support and love to me during the past more than 2 years , I feel so grateful for having the chance to work with you and getting to know so much about you. and I do thank you very much for giving me the opportunity to grow up  !

Now the company will directly cooperate with the customer , hope the company has a very successful future. I regret losing this job. But for me , if there is something lost, there must be some other thing won. Also I am still young and there are many other things waiting for me to learn , I am hoping to go back to my hometown to do my own things , I believe you can kindly understand !

Say thanks again for your great help !

Ms Green will take over my job in the future, please send all of the related information to her directly .

I wish you and your families a life full of good health and happiness always. And I will miss you all so much !
If you are free, please keep in touch with me as following information :

韬光养晦

请问有没有谁的答案是正确的？

感觉第一个人改完了，后面的积极性就不多了，不如换成大家主动发帖

homepage

这么一篇太长啦，估计论坛上很少有人有耐心仔细看原文，更别说每个回帖了

PACIFIC

原帖由 ys98 于 2010-11-22 13:36 发表
Dear All ,

Hope you are well !

Sorry to say good-bye to everybody , I'm leaving the company on the 20th of June .

It's my pleasure to thank you for all your support and love to me during the past ...

on the 20th of June ?

floraz

原帖由 PACIFIC 于 2010-11-23 11:51 发表


on the 20th of June ?

我觉得加不加the 和 of 都可

rogerk

关键是错太多了，改不胜改

floraz

原帖由 ★阳光小帅★ 于 2010-11-23 11:40 发表
请问有没有谁的答案是正确的？

感觉第一个人改完了，后面的积极性就不多了，不如换成大家主动发帖

除了语法和拼写问题以外
每个人表达方式不同，并不一定有一个固定答案的
主要是想鼓励大家交流不同的表达方式:)

floraz

原帖由 rogerk 于 2010-11-23 17:14 发表
关键是错太多了，改不胜改

文章本身是有些chinglish
欢迎按照原文的语义写一篇更地道farewell email
大家互相学习交流一下

Y叔

原帖由 PACIFIC 于 2010-11-23 11:51 发表


on the 20th of June ?

When you say 20th, then you have to have the "the".

Y叔

原帖由 floraz 于 2010-11-23 17:12 发表

我觉得加不加the 和 of 都可

If you write a letter, then you may write like 20 June. However if for a speech, then you have to say the 20th of June.

rogerk

Sorry to say good-bye to everybody , I will leave the company on 20th June .

这么表达比较奇怪的，一般可以说：

It is sad that I have to say good-bye to you all as 20 June is my last working day here.

[ 本帖最后由 rogerk 于 2010-11-23 17:30 编辑 ]

floraz

原帖由 ys98 于 2010-11-23 17:26 发表

If you write a letter, then you may write like 20 June. However if for a speech, then you have to say the 20th of June.

是的
写法上可以直接写20 June
不过在读法上会加the 和 of

floraz

原帖由 rogerk 于 2010-11-23 17:28 发表
Sorry to say good-bye to everybody , I will leave the company on 20th June .

这么表达比较奇怪的，一般可以说：

It is sad that I have to say good-bye to you all as 20 June is my last working day here. ...

谢谢分享
我觉得可以直接用last day

根据情况还可以说It is with with mixed feelings/emotions that

floraz

还有一些地方我觉得可以修改，比如：
It's my pleasure to thank you for all your support and love to me during the passed more than 2 years
it‘s my pleasure是说很荣幸很愿意的意思，pleasure to thank you这很别扭，我觉得可以改成I would like to take this opportunity to thank you

grateful to是只对谁感谢，我觉得这里应该用grateful for having had the chance to work with you and to get to know so many of you.

if something lost, there must be other thing won, 并不是很理解这句话这里的意思，如果是有的有失的意思，我觉得可以说life is full of ups and downs 或者 it's all swings and roundabouts.

also I was still young and there are many other things waiting for me to learn , I want to go back to my hometown to do my own things , I believe you can kindly understande !这句话这里有些莫名……

If you are free, please keep in touch with me as belowing informations 这里可以改成Please feel free to contact me via the details below

iami

Hope you are well !
well 改成good.
link verb后面加adj.

第一句一般是问好，不是祝福

floraz

原帖由 iami 于 2010-11-24 00:41 发表
Hope you are well !
well 改成good.
link verb后面加adj.

第一句一般是问好，不是祝福

感谢参与~

不过这句上我有不同观点
我觉得hope you are well并没有什么grammatical问题，在writing里出现表示希望你们近来都好，一切都好的意思。和I hope this email finds you well一样，是一个比较common的opening sentence in writing。
相对来说，Hope you are ok显得比较口语，常用于熟人，朋友，而Hope you are well可以用于非熟人及长辈。

iami

原帖由 floraz 于 2010-11-24 10:21 AM 发表

感谢参与~

不过这句上我有不同观点
我觉得hope you are well并没有什么grammatical问题，在writing里出现表示希望你们近来都好，一切都好的意思。和I hope this email finds you well一样，是一个比较common的opening se ...

hope you are well语法有问题
hope you all well 没有问题。
hope you are good 没有问题

finds you well. well 是adv.修饰find. 和hope you are good两种情况
因为：
- find 是实义动词+adv.
- are 是系动词+adj

[ 本帖最后由 iami 于 2010-11-24 11:14 编辑 ]

viviancn

well可以做形容词的。hope you are well 没问题

means healthy: 'How are you?' 'Very well, thanks.'
I don't feel very well.
You're looking very well.
I hope you get well again soon.

[ 本帖最后由 viviancn 于 2010-11-24 11:27 编辑 ]

viviancn

逗号不能当句号用。通篇都是逗号。很多中国人的通病。

floraz

原帖由 iami 于 2010-11-24 11:11 发表


hope you are well语法有问题
hope you all well 没有问题。
hope you are good 没有问题

finds you well. well 是adv.修饰find. 和hope you are good两种情况
因为：
- find 是实义动词+adv.
- are 是系动词+adj ...

well也可以是adj. 的，有healthy的意思
比如I am very well

用那个find you well做例子，我是想说可以在writing中作为开篇语，意思是类似的:)

iami

http://wordnetweb.princeton.edu/ ... ;o4=&o3=&h=

一定要用也可以。

平时我说 hope y'all goin' well，对一帮人说
或者写的时候写 hope you are doing well.

hope you are well.这个表达我觉得不顺。

floraz

欢迎大家分享好的farewell email

我觉得不要小看这些日常的email，也是锻炼写作的一个好方法
有时读farewell email也能学到一些东西