joke - Learn and have fun

YC_SUSAN

A man goes on holiday to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Halfway through their trip, the mother-in-law has a fatal heart attack.

An undertaker (殡仪人员） explains that they can ship the body home,but it'll cost $5000, The alternative is to bury her in the Holy Land for $500. " We will  have her shipped home," say the son-in-law.

"Are you sure?" asks the undertaker."That's an awfully big expense. And I assure you  we do a very nice burial here."

"Look," says the son-in-law,"two thousand years ago they buried a guy here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

brahmasky

LOL

YC_SUSAN

Contemplate （沉思）

"What does the word contemplate mean?" the university student asked his English professor.

"Think about it," the professor answered.

"Ugh!" the student groaned. "Can't you just tell me?"

newstepsnew

haha

YC_SUSAN

“Will the father be present at the birth?" the obstetrician （产科医师）asked his pregnant patient.
"No," she replied."He and my husband don't get along."

不是很好笑，凑合一下。

YC_SUSAN

学习一些儿子(３年纪)作业里的词: （）

hair-raising    毛骨悚然的
a flimsy excuse   很勉强的理由
reckless behavior   鲁莽的行为
vain  虚荣的，空虚的（she is beautiful but vain  ）
durian    榴莲
origami  折纸手工

在小孩作业里出现的词应该是高频常用词了，很汗啊， 我自己的英文到底有多烂， 小学3年级的作业我就有这么所生词。

YC_SUSAN

set your heads up    给你预先提个醒

对于下周要处理的一个pay run, 同事说可能将有一个termination 需要处理， 然后她说： just set your heads up

YC_SUSAN

The Hole Truth

There were two guys working for the municipality（市政府）.One would dig a hole: dig,dig,dig, The othter would come behind him and fill the  hole: fill, fill, fill. Those two man worked furiously, one digfing a hole, the other filling it up again.

A man watching from the pavement couldn't believe how hard these men were working,but also couldn't understand what they were doing. Finally he had to ask. He said to the hole digger, " I appreicate how hard you work, but what are you doing? You dig a hole and your partner comes along and fills it up again!"

The hole digger replied," Yes, It must look funny . The guy who plants the tree is sick today."

这个笑话讽刺了政府工作人员的不负责任。 太损了。

YC_SUSAN

Good Clean Fun

A  couple of cockroaches (蟑螂）are tucking in to the contents of a bin in a deserted （废弃的）alley. "Have you popped into that new coffee shop over the road yet?" asks one.

" The floors are so shiny you can see your feelers （触角）in them. The walls are so clean you can't run up them. The air is so fresh it smells like flowers."

"Stop, stop!" cried the second cockroach in disgust." Please, not while I'm eating!"


很好玩！

YC_SUSAN

Fly in the Ointment

On a recent holiday, my brother co年plained about our bug-infested cabin." I was just in the bathroom," he told our mother,"and I saw a fly crawling out of your make-up bag."

Mum's response:" How did it  look?"

MoonlightBlues

funny

YC_SUSAN

继续跟这儿子的作业 学常用的单词：

antic  古怪的，滑稽的（重音在前）
想起来另外一个相似的  antique: 古老的，年代久远的（重音在后）

cuddly  令人想拥抱的，逗人喜爱的   teddy bear is cuddly
相似的： adorable 可爱的  

tattered  衣衫褴褛的  （让人想到 乞丐，但也可以说 i love my  tattered teddy bear)
tatter:  破布， 撕碎，变得破烂

mascot  吉祥物   olympic mascot
想到mosquito   蚊子   哈哈， 毫不相干， 蚊子永远都别想翻身成为吉祥物，