MARKETING 术语 (搞笑版)

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Marketing Redefined

1. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You go up to her and say, "Hi, I'm great in bed, how about it?" - That's Direct Marketing.

2. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You recognize her. You walk up to her, refresh her memory and get her to laugh and giggle and then suggest, "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?". That's Customer Relationship Management.

[ 本帖最后由 PQPQ123 于 2011-9-6 12:40 编辑 ]

wozf14

呵呵，确实是~沙发了~

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3. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You give your friend a tenner. She goes up and says "Hi, my friend over there is great in bed, how about it?". That's Advertising.

4. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You go up to her like Richard Gere, Look at her like Sean Connery, Smile like Tom Cruise, carry the air of Clint Eastwood and say, "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?". That's Direct Selling.

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5. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You somehow mop up her mobile number. You call and chat her up a while and then say "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?" That's Tele-Marketing.

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6. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You put on your spring boots and walk around playing Mr. Busy. You put on your best smile and walk around being Mr. Congenial. You refresh all the Thesaurus links in your memory and play Mr. Polished. You stand straight, you talk soft and smooth, you open the door for the ladies, you smile like a dream, you set an aura around you playing the Mr. Gentleman and then you move up to the girl and say, "Hi, I am great in bed, how about it?". That's Hard Selling.

7. You go to a party, you see an attractive girl across the room. She comes over and says, "Hi, I hear you're great in bed, how about it?" Now that is the power of Branding.

[ 本帖最后由 PQPQ123 于 2011-9-5 13:00 编辑 ]

PQPQ123

Appendix

1. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You go up to her girlfriend and say "hi, I'm great in bed. let's have some fun." You leave the room together. The other day, the girlfriend tells the attractive girl:" He is great in bed." That's network marketing.

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2. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You mop up her ICQ number and start to chat with her on internet. You name yourself " Mr. Big " and send her a picture of Tom Cruise with your name. At last you say: " How about a meet?" That's E-Marketing.

3. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You go up to her and present to her a gold watch and say:" I am great in bed." That's trade marketing basic.

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4. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You go up to her and pretend you are the host and lead her to the garden. There is flower blossom and birds' singing. Moon is above in sky and warm breeze in the air. You whisper to her " Hi, I am great in bed. how about it?" That's trade marketing advanced.

5. You go to a party and you see an attractive girl across the room. You jump up the stage and call attentions from all. " Hello everyone, I am great in bed. I will pay to anyone of you girls who sleeps with me." That's dot com marketing.

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6. The next day you tell the girls:" I am not going to pay you. Instead you can keep the right to me anytime you want." That's stock go public.

7. "I go to a party and I see an attractive girl across the room. I go up to her and say, "Hi, I am the buddy of Bond..., James Bond. And I'm as great in bed, how about it?" That's Co-Branding."

[ 本帖最后由 PQPQ123 于 2011-9-5 13:03 编辑 ]

PQPQ123

8. I go to another party, I see attractive girls across the room. They all RUN over to me and say one by one:

- "Hi, Jacky, you showed you're great in bed, how about it tonight?"  
- "Hi, Johnny, you showed you're great in bed, how about it tonight?"
- "Hi, Julio, you showed you're great in bed, how about it tonight?"

Now that is the power of Personalization."

PQPQ123

如此生动的"活学活用"的 MARKETING 教材,是不是比教科书容易记住得多?

看懂了的, 笑了的, 请加分啊!

上书房行走

which one is the most powerful approach?

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原帖由 上书房行走 于 2011-9-5 13:05 发表
which one is the most powerful approach?

有机会都试试不就知道了??

朝三暮四郎

You go to a party and tell everyone "Hi, Im great in bed. Im great in bed. Im great in bed. " that's advertising as well. 羊羊羊,恒源祥