女儿书评 "101 ways to help your daughter love her body"

chatchat

Review – 101 Ways to Help Your Daughter Love Her Body
                                        By Brenda Lane Richardson and Elane Rehr

Although this book was meant for parents, I read it out of interest. It is a book written by a group of mothers who were concerned about how the media was affecting their daughters.  The book has 101 things for parents to do to help their daughters self esteem. It was an interesting read as it relates to the first unit of Personal Development in the secondary education curriculum. After I read it I thought I disagreed with some things in the book but more so disagreed with the whole purpose of the book. The book is well written and some strategies are certainly very useful, however some points of the book brought me to think the exact opposite of what the authors are trying to get across.

I want to say that there is no difference between these “caring mothers” and the “good for nothing” media. As both groups are trying to get teenage girls to follow a path that they think is best. The mothers mean no harm but what they are doing is exactly the same thing as the media they detest. Just because they have a closer relationship with the girls does not mean they have to force the teenage girls to go their way. The media is trying to get the girls to buy their products which results in the change in their sense of self. The parents are trying to get the girls to accept who they are which results in the change in their sense of self. I see no difference between the groups.

Teenage girls are mainly students so I think learning would be the first priority, however I do not think that aiming for good looks is anything to be ashamed about. My opinion is that teenage girls read broadly and develop who they really are and find what they truly want. Some girls may change their opinion and standards when they do not meet it, some girls may strive and endure pain to reach those standards. I think neither is right or wrong.

One of the key points of the book is that women trying to look pretty are ingratiating men and it is not good for a girl’s self esteem. Yes there is more to life than just pretty looks but we cannot deny that looks are a part of us, an important part in fact. Our looks can reflect our life, what we do, our upbringing and our personality. I believe women could strive for beautiful looks and strive for knowledge at the same time. Being beautiful and looking nice certainly do NOT mean ingratiating men.
Who said that the beautiful female body is only for the pleasure of men? I think that it is those parents telling girls that it is for the pleasure of men that makes girls think so. The authors of the book state that the media is influencing young girl’s to think they have to look pretty so boys would like them. However that is not what the media is doing. The media is saying that girls look pretty when they are thin, not girls have to look pretty to please boys. The media uses the word “attractive” and that makes parents concerned that the media is teaching girls to please boys. Parents should reconsider what the word means, rather than teaching girls not to watch and read things with the word in it. The word “attractive” means “arousing interest or pleasure” this applies to everybody, not only the opposite gender. Therefore I do not think being attractive is a bad thing at all.

In my opinion, the media can help girls become strong and independent females. If girls accept who they are and not make any effort to change they may become extremely lethargic or even narcissist. The book states that young girls trying to change their appearance is bad for their self esteem and should just accept who they are. I believe that having a goal and striving towards perfection would make girls stronger and just accepting who they are would not. Following media stereotype body and working towards a goal will sometimes bring pain but the skill of enduring would be very useful in later life.

Although the media has no intension of helping girls become independent, by advertising what the public think is a perfect body the media presents a goal and presents methods to reach the goal. Girls would follow the methods and those with strong will would achieve the goal and learn skills of endurance. If the method of getting to the goal is unhealthy, such as taking pills, law will charge the company. Healthy methods of improving the body would not harm anyone.

In conclusion I would like to say I disagree with the opinions of the book but it is still a very good book. It inspired deeper thoughts and made me think about the self-esteem issue that I never thought about when I was learning about it at school. I think it is a very interesting read and recommend it to any girls who are sick of the boring way they teach it at school. As everybody is different and everybody has a right, I still think parents who read this book should not go into their daughter’s bedrooms and say they should “love themselves”. No matter if the reader is a parent or a teenager, I do not think anybody but they have the right to manipulate the opinion's of others. Guiding and discussing is better and enough.  

其实这算不得什么书评，更像是看了这本书对学校最近也在学的body image这个PD课题的一点感想吧。
不管check多少次肯定错漏百出是我的惯性，还请看的时候多包含。
原来也不打算写，但是我妈说写了帮助思考，我就写了一下。
有些观点可能有点偏激了，不过都是我自己的一点观点，相信以后应该还会变吧。
嗯就这样了，推荐这本书，因为它的确让人思考这一争论不断的话题。

patrickzhu

给chatchat的天才女儿加分，中英文一起来啊，哈哈。

楼主女儿看很多书啊。
7年级就思考这样的问题啦，呵呵。
我女儿8年级，平日听她说话里也有很多类似女权的观点，不过她写不出来这些东东。

她现在在看唐顿庄园，等下我让她来学习学习。

kate

跪拜啊

chatchat

朱版，walsh bay 有个13rooms行为艺术展览，有裸女，还有些别的，一共13个项目，免费的，可带女权的女儿看看。

patrickzhu

kate 发表于 2013-4-19 22:33
跪拜啊

光拜，你也不给人家小姑娘加点分分？

kate

patrickzhu 发表于 2013-4-19 22:36
光拜，你也不给人家小姑娘加点分分？

我刚想发贴问来，我加了五次了，次次不能输入正确分值，奇了怪了。

kate

总算好了，加了加了，侬就会催催催

chatchat

patrickzhu 发表于 2013-4-19 22:23
给chatchat的天才女儿加分，中英文一起来啊，哈哈。

楼主女儿看很多书啊。

我是楼主女儿。
不是天才....很多spelling和grammar的问题呢。
我也很喜欢英剧啊，英剧的气质总是和美剧不一样的。
Downton是很好看的英剧，大表哥帅惨了。

patrickzhu

Hello, I'm Patrick's daughter
You go to Sydney Girl's right? I'm at North Sydney Girls High, and I think that your point of view is a point of view I've come across often throughout my school days. Our school strongly supports ideas such as feminism and shows it by forming groups around the school such as the women's collective to boost a young girl's confidence in way I guess. Your way of thinking and even your perspective of this book suggests that you're much older than one would think you were! That's a good thing. Most girls at my age perhaps still wouldn't think that way unless they were told to. Yet the question to me remains. Are you really passionate about this topic? If you are then I assure you, you can do a lot of great things, and if you aren't - not to worry, because this is a good perspective to have in terms of feminism and what not and good potentially help you later in life.

Most people would think that Downton Abbey is a show for old mothers who have nothing left to do with spare time, and yet here I am watching a show like that. Looks like I'm turning old. :)

chatchat

patrickzhu 发表于 2013-4-19 23:28
Hello, I'm Patrick's daughter
You go to Sydney Girl's right? I'm at North Sydney Girls High, and I t ...

Hello
Yes I go to SGHS, I think I support all human rights instead of just feminism. Our school holds an Amnesty International group that discuss issues of the world and the previous terms' focus was the controversial Bill against homosexuality in Uganda. We raise attention about this and similar issues in the school community and we recently held a day at school where everybody in the school signed petitions and letters which were sent to Uganda. I think a person should think for themselves and for human rights, this includes anti racial discrimination, anti homophobia, anti gender discrimination and of course feminism. I am especially passionate about feminism and currently homosexual rights (because the trend in China and because of the current state of discrimination). However I have not read many articals or books about feminism but I hope I will be able soon. Currently I just believe that women should be independent and have the ability and right to choose what they want in their life. A woman does not have to have an extremely successful career to be a successful woman, she can focus on family or on social activities but as long as she has the knowledge and ability to choose who she wants to be it is fine.

I just realised I said a load of "illogical words" as my mum would say, but I hope you get the idea .

Oh yeh and I think tv series are not always a time killer for middle aged housewives, they can be very interesting. So sad about  Dan Stevens …

roseF

厉害， 都是才女呀

rabbitmel

欣赏了，谢谢！

patrickzhu

Hi again, to be able to interact with with someone like yourself is very inspiring. Many including myself still wish they ould be as passionate as you are on this particular topic of human rights, homosexual marriage, racism etc. I truly believe that this is a good topic to be interested in, and agree with your points. I happen to have a friend exactly like you, smart as ever, book lover and extremely fascinated by this area of discussion.

Have you ever read Amy tan books? They're books that really discuss this issue and the author expresses these ideas through forms of writing. Often they're about refugees coming to foreign countries or racism towards Asians etc. Being both short and non fictional, I think you should start exploring some of these topics a bit more by reading up on them. So start with these books, then work your way up to the top. Try the book The Kitchen Gods Wife. It's a good book to start with, so try it out and see whether or not your enjoy this style of writing. Amy tan is a wonderful author, so it shouldn't be too hard. ;)

wgurry

感谢分享

Petunia

爱学习，勤思考，善表达，赞两位才女，羡慕她们的家长。

chatchat

patrickzhu 发表于 2013-4-20 10:08
Hi again, to be able to interact with with someone like yourself is very inspiring. Many including m ...

Thanks, I found talking to you has been very inspiring as well. The subjects of human rights is always very controversial but extremely interesting when you actually think about it. It's the sort of thing that makes people passionate and want to know more and think more. Thanks for the suggestion I will try reading some of her books.