参加九月活动--the strength switch

annahw

7月的某天，从freeoz上看到足迹，第一次认识足迹，发现居然这里读书算一种爱好。并且在兴趣爱好区里还有读万卷书这个版块。 再看，发现不注册不行，有很多东东看不了。于是就就开始功利起来，各种求分。为了视力看帖非常有限，快速浏览中，看到有位亲推荐这本书。不由得细细看遍。没有来得及回帖，就去买书。
到手之后，马上开看。副标题是How The New Science of Strength-Based Parenting Can Help Your Child and Your Teen to Flourish ，这是一本让人非常冶愈的心理学范畴的书。分为上下两个部分，
上部分是打基础部分，下部分是详尽指导如何build strength.
写得非常翔实，可读性也非常强。
对当今父母也是非常理解：”
Parents today have a lot more to worry about. My parents didn’t have to think about screen time, cyberbullying, or sexting. Expectations of parents are growing, too. We’re raising kids in an era ruthlessly focused on grades, college admission, earning potential, and social acceptance.“

从自己的家庭的经历说起
While these findings are a gratifying confirmation of my theories, I also had a very personal reason for my passionate interest in strength-based parenting. Like many children, I was conditioned to see myself for what I’m not—to focus on my weaknesses, flaws, and faults.
从自己被bully的经历说起，
If the hardship at home was not enough, I was also badly bullied at school when I was fifteen. Until then I’d never been a target for bullies, but I felt strong empathy for the kids who were bullied. Growing up the way I did, I knew what it was like to feel different from others, like an outsider. So one day when the bullies were at work on a student at the school lockers, something in me snapped and I thought, This has to stop. I stood between the bullies and their victim. I told them they needed to stop and foolishly added, “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?”
For the next eight months, they turned the full extent of their venom on me. From the minute I got on the school bus each morning until the minute I stepped off at night, their viciousness was relentless. Taunting me, yelling at me, pushing me, shoving me, pulling my hair, and ostracizing me. They started horrible rumors about me and they slipped threatening letters into my school bag.

从自己的孩子和自己的一次互动讲起

The next day, I pulled into the driveway to see the bike once again parked by the front door. Wait—this again? It felt like a scene out of Groundhog Day. I went inside. Nick came out of his room to greet me with a big smile on his face—but before he could say a word, I snapped: “You need to learn to put your bike where it BELONGS. I am getting tired of reminding you about this!”
His face fell, and I had one of those awful moments of classic parental guilt.

多么熟悉的场景。classic parental guilt.

有一次企业的一个培训会上，有人讲，我们办培训，并不是要讲多少知识和信息在里面，更多的是，想要让大家认识，有问题可以找到得对应的人。而在这里写"书评”，目的大概亦是，如果里面的内容能勾起看官的一点兴趣，遇到了，可以去看就足以了。

那么简短来说一下，读了这本书，我的收获：
1. 对孩纸会更加的会正确赞赏，自己对自己也会更加的赞赏，因为strength是可以练习的；当然我练习砸了几次，搞笑的经历。
2.可以聚焦自己的strength,也会知道学会放弃；会positively push 孩子和自己；
3. 知道各个年龄段的Strength所在；比如按我自己观察，九岁十岁的孩子特别爱做生意，调查了很多同事，孩子在这个年龄都会在学校卖东西了；
4. 其他的要素，可以用章节标题来说明：Attention, Savoring, Gratitude, and Goofing Off； Mindfulness；Self-Control；Communication；Strength-Based Living in the Real World；Strong Selves, Strong Families, Strong Communities, Strong World
5. 更加从容了，享受当下的每时每刻。parenting 和心理学不分家。

缓缓

给楼主加分加到手软

annahw

缓缓 发表于 2018-9-4 19:59
给楼主加分加到手软

实在不好意思……有时候想到了就想写出来。
缺分的我看到这个实在是惊喜交加 惊的是换靴慢，喜的是大读书版活动不断