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[全澳] 谈谈英文写作 (话题之十一(266楼)反射性(写作)思维 (Reflective Thinking) [复制链接]

发表于 2010-8-6 11:53 |显示全部楼层
此文章由 洋八路 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 洋八路 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2016-9-4 09:53 编辑

如何提高学生的英文写作能力?


相信很多父母都为小孩的英文写作操心过。虽然OC考试目前没有英文写作一项,但是学校里的写作训练其实从 Year 3甚至更早就开始了。精英中学考核成绩总分的300分中,写作分数大约35分左右(综合考虑考试分和学校给分);对比于GA 100分,数学 100分,和阅读65分的分数,单独写作一项只占总成绩的12%左右,算比较低了。

不过,从数学概率统计的角度来看,精英考试成绩的分布总是非常陡峭;换句话说,就是有非常多的学生集中在某一个特定分数点周围,很低和很高的分数相对很少。这样,一分之差就可能导致学生在精英申请的队列上差距甚远;比如,少一分,就可能被拉下100名,用“分分必争”来描述这场可怜小孩们所面对的第一场“人生竞技”不算过分。

因此,这点重要的“分分”就取着“力拨白位”的杠杆作用。显然,这个一分优势在GA、数学、阅读和写作四个单项中都可以想办法获得,这也是众多华人父母“不惜血本”“不远百里”送小孩补习的缘故。

不过,你补大家都补,水涨船高呢。这一分之差是变得越来越难以赚到了。就象目前的联邦大选,打来打去,到目前还是势均力敌。一对可怜男女,口干舌燥,苦思冥想,在哪里才可以赢得那个决定胜负的一分呢?

凡事呢,讲究一个投入产出。在我看来,就目前的情势,四个单项中写作分数最小,从以小拨大的道理来看,应该是写作这一项。不是么?因为小,就容易被人忽视;加上没有特别的黑白答案,很多老师父母们想抓也找不到一个舒服的“手柄”,总有使不上劲的感觉。于是,对于一分之争的战斗,这个“小高地”就颇具战略意义。

自今日起,我希望这个帖子能够为父母足友们提供一个学习交流的机会,好好研究一下攻打这个“小高地”的战术。其实,不管是小学生还是中大学生写作,研究生论文;或者是作家,剧作家,诗人,论坛贴友,时髦博客等等,都是一个“写”字,都应该具备共通的道理。因此,从这个角度看,这个小贴字,又有了“大”的意义了。

[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2011-3-16 10:23 编辑 ]

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英文写作老师
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发表于 2010-8-6 12:01 |显示全部楼层

写作话题之一:关于Creative Writing

此文章由 洋八路 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 洋八路 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
注:这个内容从我的另一个主题回复中移到这里。

-- about Creative Writing

Creative writing 是同professional & acedemic writing 相区别的。前者注重个人情感的自我表达,比如,诗歌,散文,小说,纪实性的也算;后者注重说服读者,更多的是让读者接受某个观点或者技能,比如论文,新闻等,目的性教强。虽然形式上,creative writing 没有特别的格式,相对自由,但是很注重的是有没有灵魂“soul”,只有当这个soul所宣泄的情感可以引起读者的共鸣的时候,我们就可以说,这个文章很有质量。Creative Writing 最重要的是有想象力,然后这个想象力能够被赋予一定的“涵义”,比如,美,爱,关心等这些人性内容。虽然是随想随想的感觉,但是思绪不能跳的太快,否则读者无法被带入意境,也就无法产生共鸣。

-- about selective school writing test

目前的精英作文考试主要是给学生一个写作的引子,比如一段陈述,一个问题,或者是一个画面。然后学生必须从中思考/想象出需要表达的内容。象“Meigui”的小孩,读很多课外书的,想象力丰富,要找到自己的思考和情绪点就比较容易。接下来更多的是如何把意思说的明白,这就是文字、论点组织的功底了。就20分钟的时间,所以平时的训练是很重要的。老师在改考卷的时候,虽然也有硬标准,也很有主观性,最最主要的是作文的“思想质量 -- quality of thinking”,是否有感觉。一般来说,如果不是自己写出来的东西,读者是容易感觉得到的。所以,用自己的文字来表达,哪怕词汇,文句没那么漂亮和华丽,也是可以得到高的分数,因为有灵魂是最重要的。这大概就是玫瑰的小孩可以得高分的缘故?

我是非常不赞同背范文的做法的,不能为了分数把小孩的创造力扼杀在孩提时代;再说这样做也不一定就能得到高分数,除非老师太笨了,看不出背诵记忆的痕迹。

[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2011-1-16 10:55 编辑 ]

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英文写作老师

发表于 2010-8-6 12:14 |显示全部楼层

写作话题之二:老师如何给分?

此文章由 洋八路 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 洋八路 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
注:本内容从另一个回帖处转移此次,适当修改。

在精英中学或者OC测试的英文写作给分,按重要程度,可以按照一下顺序:

1.        Relevance to the subject – No more, no less to the requirements or major points
2.        Paragraph Structure -- Are major points well structured and organized to support the whole subject?
3.        Sentence Structure -- Smooth and understandable?
4.        Vocabulary  -- Accurate usage/conveyance
5.        Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling – Obvious mistakes?

为方便理解(中文)

1.        主题相关性  -- 不多不少按要求写出主题/中心思想。
2.        段落结构  --  要点是否组织清晰?有无反复混乱?
3.        句子结构 --  流利还是晦涩难懂?
4.        词汇 --  是否准确表达思想
5.        语法/标点/拼写 – 是否有明显的错误?


目前,我的看法是,很多人(学生,家长和多数补习老师)将写作和阅读的训练方式混淆起来,缺乏针对性。比如,写作对词汇的要求是第四位,并不要求学生用太多复杂难懂的单词(而阅读和GA就要求有很多的词汇量),表达清楚准确更为重要。最主要的是主题相关性以及要点的组织结构,老师给分的时候基本按上面要素来考虑的。

由于主题相关性和段落要点非常重要,也被很多人忽视,现在就来看看一个案例。

--------
学生案例一:

My Special Day

Write a story about your special day. Tell and explain about three activities or events you did on that day.

Your writing will be judged:

        What you have to say
        How well you organize the way you write it
        How clearly and effectively you express yourself.

----------

注:这个学生是Year 5 的OC班学生。

Today I went to the school carnival. As I started to slowly walk into the bus, I chattered to my best friends behind me.
For minutes, we waited in the bus and talked to the excited classmates around us. Even I was so excited that I couldn’t wait for several minutes.
As soon as the bus stopped, we were instructed to quietly walk out and line up near the picnic area.
As I walked past the kind, bus driver, I thanked him politely while the others walked noisily past me. The kind-hearted teacher on duty encouraged me and I felt so pleased with myself.
Our class set up the mats at our house groups, and happily started playing card games.
As the fist event took place, many of the kindergarten children rushed up to the waiting area.
The event was organised by age groups from youngest to oldest.
Finally, the shot put was called. I made it into the finals and I excitedly dashed up to the shot –put area.
I scored five pint six metres and was extremely happly with the results.
As I finished the running events, I felt my heart beat quickly when I came first.
After the events, I went to the public canteen and bought sweets.
After five hours of extreme fun, it was time to g back to school.
I hoped that next year, we could have another exciting carnival..
----

点评:

相关性:

主题是, three activities or events on a special day, 但是,从这篇文章中你无法清楚的看到三个主题。从“For minutes, we waited in the bus and talked to the excited classmates around us” 。。。 up to . “The event was organised by age groups from youngest to oldest.”一大段没有必要,基本上可以去掉,放在那里,哪怕写的再好,也不会得什么分的。真正的activity 好象是从As the first event took placed 开始,从那以后,shot up and running, 以及前面的playing card games, 是不是three activities之一呢? 非常不清楚。

段落结构:

从这个文章中,体现出典型的小孩写作的通病。写前没有任何计划,写成“一团”,段落混乱不清,读者无法清楚地看到要点组织。Introduction, body parts and conclusion/wrap up, 组织混乱,一句成了一个段落。

下面是指导后学生修改后的文章:

My Special Day


By TTTT TT
June 5, 2010


My special day was at the school athletics carnival. My three events were the age race, high jump and long jump. My best event was the age race because it had much more action than the other two events.  -- Brief introduction referring to the subject.

As the first event, the age races, took place, many of the kindergarten children rushed up towards the waiting area. The age groups were organized by youngest to oldest which explains why the kindergartens rushed up first. After waiting for several minutes, my age was called. I had to overcome two other people who beat me in the cross country. Now, I have the chance to beat them. As I walked down the waiting area, I noticed how the fast people had to stay at the back. BANG! The gun fired as I dashed forward past my competitors. I tried to maintain my speed as I ran. The two people who beat me at the cross country started to gain speed but I had already crossed the finish line. I felt extremely proud of my self, presenting my 1st place ticket to the house captains. I know that I would make it into ZONE.  ---- first activity, rich detail.

After about an hour of chattering and playing with my close friends, the high-jump trial results were announced for whom made it into the carnival high-jump. As the loudspeaker went through all the people who made it in, I just heard my name as it went through the list. My close friends congratulated me as I walked up the high-jump area. The high-jump mats were big and thick. They almost looked like your bed mattress except with two layers not one. First the beam was set on one metre which was fairly high. As many failed the one metre jump, it was finally my turn. I took a great run-up and jump as high as I could and leaped over the beam! ‘I made it!’ I thought to myself as I jumped off the mattress. Unfortunately someone else, a close rival, had made it over the beam too! The rest all failed and had second attempts but still failed. As the other winners went, the judges put the beam to one point two metres! It was super high! As my rival made a dash to the beam, I shivered with fear on the thought if he made it. Fortunately, he didn’t make it which was a slight relief. As I made my jump to the beam, I accidentally tipped the beam with my foot as I leaped through! ‘I could have made it if I didn’t tip my foot’, I groaned after we were sent back.  -- second activity, lively description.

To me, the long jump was so easy! Since I run so fast on the run-up, I could jump longer! The announcer invited me to join the long-jump group which was expected. I knew I would make it into the long-jump since I jumped a long distance at the try-outs. As the winners made their way the long-jump, I was relieved to find out my rival didn’t make it into the long-jump. The teacher for long-jump instructed me to go first. As I made my way to the run-up pad, I heard a couple of people snarling to their friends about how I am going to jump a long distance. The teacher raised a signal as I ran as fast as the wind to the jumping spot. I made a gigantic leap and unexpectedly broke the school record! I could see the people stare at me with awe. The teacher announced with appreciation, four point five metres! New record! I happily told my friends as I ran to the picnic area. They glared at me with unbelief. Then I told them to look on the school newspaper.---- third activity, good wording and sentence.

That school carnival day was an absolute success! I finally beat the two other competitors and broke a new school record! I felt extremely happy at these two wonderful events and I hope to do even better next year! I enjoyed the long-jump event the best since I broke the record. I didn’t like the high-jump very much however, I was still satisfied. I hope next year would be an even more success for me!  -- Good conclusion/wrap up/looking forward..

---------------------

这篇文章里的词汇量并不复杂,也不夸张。最重要的是主题贴近,不重复,没有冗余,段落清楚。文字方面主要是要熟练和准确,不是要复杂晦涩。各位父母在指导小孩写作的时候可以记住这些要点。。


其实,写作也是交流的一种手段,并且在英语中是最难的,因为第一:要有自己的观点;第二:要合理组织自己的观点。最终的目的是要别人能从作者那里得到有用的信息,而不是简单的单词排列了。写作也是在今后的生活和工作中最可以显示实力的技能,老外很能说,但是绝大多数人写的很差。有句谚语:

“Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, writing an exact man”, by Roger Beacon. 充分说明这一点。

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英文写作老师

2020年度勋章

发表于 2010-8-6 13:00 |显示全部楼层
此文章由 zuozuo 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 zuozuo 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
我女儿写的weekend, holiday等也经常没有重点,把morning tea啊,上厕所什么的都搬上去。

发表于 2010-8-6 14:32 |显示全部楼层
此文章由 绿茶 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 绿茶 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
这里小孩写作的想象力不是一般的丰富,经常飞地太远,回不来。
都不敢太多辅导孩子写作,怕把他束缚了。

退役斑竹 2012年度奖章获得者 2009年度奖章获得者

发表于 2010-8-6 18:05 |显示全部楼层
此文章由 缓缓 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 缓缓 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
想知道议论文的协作技巧。MS这次精英没考。奖学金考试是否考过议论文?在补习班有类似辅导,但感觉我们还是不得要领
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发表于 2010-8-7 00:12 |显示全部楼层
此文章由 洋八路 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 洋八路 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
原帖由 绿茶 于 2010-8-6 13:32 发表
这里小孩写作的想象力不是一般的丰富,经常飞地太远,回不来。
都不敢太多辅导孩子写作,怕把他束缚了。


小孩还小的时候,就是要鼓励他们多写,养成喜欢写的习惯就好了。等以后需要交流了,有将所想的内容告诉别人的需要时就要考虑写的技术问题。你想的很多,但如果无法好好的表达出来也就无法同别人有效的交流。辅导的对象是如何将想象力形成 IDEA 并传达给读者的技术和方法,并不是辅导想象力本身。小孩多看书、多观察会产生很多的想象力,辅导是无法束缚这种想象力的。俗话说,你可以让人闭嘴,但无法控制别人的思想自由,大概也是这个意思。

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英文写作老师

发表于 2010-8-7 01:22 |显示全部楼层

写作话题三:议论文的写作要点。

此文章由 洋八路 原创或转贴,不代表本站立场和观点,版权归 oursteps.com.au 和作者 洋八路 所有!转贴必须注明作者、出处和本声明,并保持内容完整
原帖由 D妈妈 于 2010-8-6 17:05 发表
想知道议论文的协作技巧。MS这次精英没考。奖学金考试是否考过议论文?在补习班有类似辅导,但感觉我们还是不得要领


中小学生英文写作的文体大致有四种:Narrattion (叙述), Description (描述), Persuasive/Argument(议论和辩论) 和exposition (说明和解释). 学生考试时一定要选对所要求的文体,否则就会不及格了 (当然有些写作引子没有要求特定文体的除外)。 不管奖学金考试有无考过议论文,它是一种中小学生的基本文体,是肯定要学的。

大家还记得我们在国内上语文课时学到的议论文的三要素吗?三要素就是, 论点,论据,论证。

议论文是用来表明自己的或者支持某种观点的,目的是去说服别人认同这个观点,风格上接近于professional writing 的大类(见本贴写作话题二)。所以文章中要清楚的表明你的观点和看法,如果议论文中,没有清楚地表明一个观点,那么,就不及格了。另外,要注意论点并不只指正确或者错误,也可以是一件事情的两面,比如补习有优缺点,这也是一种观点,可以分别说明为什么是好,为什么又是坏。

接下来,你就要摆事实,讲道路,旁征博引,用让人信服的的数据和或者众所周知的间接经验来支持你的论点,这就是要有充分的论据来support 你的argument.

论证的时候,有从正面证明,也可以反驳你的对立论点。在反驳对立论点时,也要清楚的陈述对立论点。负负得正,你把敌人的论点打败了,自然你的论点就站起来了。

水平高点的,你还可以用幽默,诙谐的修辞语句来capture attention and increase interest of readers. 比如,可以用反问句,比喻, 重复等强化你的说服力度。

其他的比如语言词汇、语法标点等同另外文体的要求都是一样的。

(注:其实这个主题的第一贴,我写的就是一个议论文,观点是,写作可以以小拨大的论点,足友见笑了。。。)。下面是一个议论文样本(从ICAS手册摘选),不一定就很好,供参考。

------------------------
writing stimulus topic: Eucational standards have declined over the years.
-----

For many years now, the education of our youth has been slammed by employers. However, if they would just take the time to examine the education system properly, their minds could quickly be changed.  

Schools today are more hardworking and close-knit than ever before. In this day and age everyone is given a fair go. Combined classes or honours programs allow gifted students the chance to realise their full potential, whereas learning support programs give students with learning difficulties the extra support and encouragement that they need to reach the next level of their education. This has not only lead to better exam results, but also an increase in the capabilities students have in the areas of reading, writing and mathematics. Also, just because the cane is not used in schools any longer, this does not mean that discipline standards have taken a nose dive. Consequences like detention and internal suspension are more than enough to stop most prblem students. Employers must begin to realise that they are actually ending up with workers who are more skilled than ever. In fact, a lot of employers might even find themselvs with workers who have already been trained, thanks to schools who set up programs such as TAFE and traineeships.

Sure there is always going to be one bad apple in the barrel. However, if employers don't begin to see how much they are being given by school-leavers, they could end up losing it.

------------------------------


[ 本帖最后由 洋八路 于 2011-2-22 11:16 编辑 ]

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英文写作老师

发表于 2010-8-7 10:25 |显示全部楼层
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原帖由 D妈妈 于 2010-8-6 17:05 发表
想知道议论文的协作技巧。MS这次精英没考。奖学金考试是否考过议论文?在补习班有类似辅导,但感觉我们还是不得要领


今年的奖学金考试是都考了一篇议论文。

发表于 2010-8-10 14:09 |显示全部楼层

土法背单词。。

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有人PM我,说如何背单词,给他回复后,觉得或许对父母在教小孩背单词的时候有参考意义。。转贴在此。。
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请问何老师,关联法怎么解释,恕我不是很了解,可以举一个例子吗[/quote]
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呵呵, 其实,所谓的关联法是我自己教学生时,想出来的土办法。就是可以用任何联想,将一个生词同其他熟悉的单词或者,形状,读音或者生词的一部分,产生联系。这样经过多次的联系,也就记住了。 比如, somber, 意思是忧郁的,那么,我就会启发学生说,“somebody is upset". ,虽然这个同somber没有直接的联系,但是,多几次联系,小孩一看,就明白它的意思。反正,如果你没有任何联系的话,哪怕你